Proper Facebook Etiquette

#201 Lost in translation

Thursday 14th June, 2007

How does one re-establish a previously ‘lost’ connection?
By now instead of Googling your ex, or ‘best’ friend from school you have probably entered their name into the search toolbox and discovered that they too are on Facebook. Where to go from here? There are indeed murky depths as most likely years have passed since you have been in touch, and for whatever reason contact has been lost over this period too. You should probably leave it, but isn’t it just too tempting to see how they are, what they are doing, what they look like, who their friends are etc without actually having run the risk of a stilted one-on-one phone conversation, or lengthy email message.

One approach is to simply Poke the person that you want to re-establish contact with. If they respond in kind, great! you have identified that their curiosity is as much re-fuelled as yours. Now you are legitimately allowed to click on the ‘add to friends’ option and pending their acceptance of this request free to peruse profile and gain insight into their life as it is now.

If they do not respond to a Poke (what really is this anyway if not a hark back to pulling pigtails in the playground action), take heed this does not mean that they are disinterested. They could be not particularly ‘net savvy’ and so are yet to acknowledge they have been ‘poked’. They may also be in such awe of your attempt at contact that they are saving your poke to look at in their side bar of information. Their Facebook account may also not be a daily foray for them which leaves you waiting for when they next log in… Meanwhile you are have left some possible Facebook actions:

  • You could subtly add them to you friend list without a personalised message, or forewarning them, this way if they ‘friend’ you access is yours and with rather limited effort on your part. If they fail to ‘friend’ you, well you weren’t that close anyway right.
  • You could send a longer message that once read, means that you have access to their profile. See you not a stalker, it just so happens that they read your message and now you can snoop all you like, if they have not already listed you as a restricted to see only their limited profile.
  • As a last ditch attempt to at least gain a limited insight into their life, you can ‘view friends’ and see who is in their social network and then judge for yourself whether you like the look of them or no.

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