Proper Facebook Etiquette

#211 Flirty Gerty

Saturday 30th June, 2007

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Once being reacquainted with an ex on Facebook at what point during such flirtatious interchange should you mention that you have a significant other?

So you have been poked, messaged or added yourself as a friend to one whom knew you best without your clothes on. Flirtatious and witty remarks have no doubt followed where flattery and curiosity have got the better of you, but you are attached, so how far is it appropriate to continue with this line of exchange?

First and foremost without your partners knowledge it probably not…

BUT, if it was you who was contacted by your ex, then you are on ‘safer’, albeit rather soft ground. But things though are certainly more in your favour. You may have Facebooked their details, but you did not contact them. Their contacting you is something that had not expected, nor deliberately sought, but this is what Facebook is all about linking into those social networks that are past, present and will certainly determine future friendships –make-ups and break-ups!

If you have any suspicion that amongst the witty interchange of ‘how are you’ remarks are getting a little too clever or ‘blue’, then its only fairer all round to reveal that you are in a relationship. Chances are that you have this information already on your profile page. Which just goes to show how inappropriate an exes advances may be in this situation in a context where they already ‘know’ that you are seeing someone else.

Another strategy is to casually mention your other half the; head campaigner for human rights/supermodel/billionaire/world famous vet/chef, haven’t they seen them on TV. Its unlikely that this subtle signal will be missed, and if it is, it means that this is someone who is actively perusing you, not actually interested in your life as it is now, but desires a resurgence of the past.

So if enticing exchanges continue despite knowledge of where the land lies, you both clearly want to remind yourselves of what you shared and where that goes is up to your conscience. No time to come across all coy now, clearly you have forgotten your off market status and launched yourself into that murky area of salacious flirtatiousness when you should be spending time with your partner. Unless of course your ex is a melting pot of HOTness and your current other is NOT… then let the re-acquaintance sparks fly!

2 Responses to “#211 Flirty Gerty”

  1. Maz Hardey says:

    Facebook’s world is indeed small, made smaller still by ‘live’ updates, newsfeed streaming and what can be info ‘overload’ some of the time.

    As for ‘real’ world consequences in terms of breaking up – this mirrors those actions already taking place ‘offline’. Although I agree with Jane’s astute observation that private emotional baggage can become up for public debate, and ‘ownership’ in terms of who is friends with whom…

    Still an ex is easier to ignore on Facebook than in the ‘real’ and there is probably a Facebook group especially for Facebook splits…

  2. Jane Robinson says:

    The ‘ex’ thing is a problem. Facebook is a small world (!?) and after I’d been on it for a couple of months up popped an ex. Ok serious ex – live in all of that – but a no-no after a couple of years. But is Facebook like real world divorce? You know one of you walks away with friends you had in common but they can come back here. Is a ‘good’ split possible now or do we all end up with ‘baggage’ and public baggage at that – which we can never escape. Jeremy Bentham’s Panopticon was used by Foucault (I have a politics Masters) and this aspect of Facebook reminds me of this – or am I going too far?that which we

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