#283 Too hot to handle
Wednesday 29th August, 2007
After an argument with my significant other I posted some rather public displays of my anger on their wall and our friends walls. What is the best course of action from here?
Emotions whether affection or anger should be considered location appropriate. Would you feel comfortable for example shouting aggressively in the midst of a restaurant, on public transport, at the beach or some other exposed location? One would, despite your recent actions, like to think that this would not be deemed as ‘acceptable’ behaviour. Well neither is this kind of crass mouthing off entirely suitable on your and your friends profiles. You shall get yourself into all manner of hot water!
There are times when it is easy to get carried away in public, who hasn’t heard the happy milieu of raised voices on a Tesco morning as families struggle to contend with the weekly shop. However, on Facebook you are making a very conscious display of your behaviour and its difficult to not pay attention to such actions. I am sure that your friends are finding it both amusing that you have provided a torrent of affected behaviour across their profiles, but this really is rather intrusive – both on their profile space and emotional well-being.
Offline it is easier to look in the other direction, tut rather loudly, to cross the street or to even to openly gawp at relationship proceedings as they unfold in front of you. Placing your argument and aggression across your own Facebook networks is more than a little careless, AND much more difficult to retract. Speech may be able to say a thousand things, but there is nothing like the power of prose to really stick in memory, and gut! Think of the wonder of Shakespeare, his Plays represent only one aspect of a genius, that is bought to the fore by his stylish and powerful writing.
Your little knee-jerk ‘activities’ are at best ‘amusing’ or ‘strange’. At worse they will be remembered as evidence of your lack of self-control and inability to uphold the more adult side of a relationship, i.e. communication. And no I am not writing about your ability to post on Facebook, that is precisely what has led you into this dark corner in the first place.
Some salient advice: First and foremost you must delete, if you have not already all posts in referent to your out-pouring, no matter how therapeutic these once were, save them for your own personal blog. Better yet buy a journal, one with a lock! Second, time to grovel. This time posts, pokes, messages on Facebook are perhaps lacking the power of an co-present and ‘down on your knees’ apology.
You’ve found that a disagreement has spun out of your control. Remind yourself that when on Facebook you are in a very public domain. Relocate your gripe elsewhere and away from the prying news and mini feeds that spur the algorithms of Facebook into action.
Oh the same advice goes for being overly affectionate and loved up on Facebook. Public fights are embarrassing. Public displays of affection provide a new level of discomfort!Tweet