Proper Facebook Etiquette

#319 What everyone else is up to

Sunday 27th April, 2008

The newsfeed is nice, but do i have to keep track of what all my friends are up to?

Hmm I’m checking out my friends updates now… reading between the lines of various relationship status changes from ‘single’ to ‘in a relationship’, as well as posted items and tagged photos. Of course without all this ‘essential’ social information I’d be doing what with my Sunday? Setting my own status and inflicting some more blog posts on my Facebook friends 😀

I’m aware that to venture out exclusively in the company of Facebook friends is to bear the markers of a socially immersed (and possibly obsessed) set of social protocols. There is the flip side to your keeping up with friends dilemma and that is to ignore all updates. They’re transient and probably less than interesting anyway. This seems marginally preferable to convincing oneself that there is a marked interest when one of your Facebook friends goes from ‘single’ to ‘its complicated’. Although you may have a more generous social impulse to engage with friend events and actions: But isn’t that just the Facebook way when you find yourself immersed within a set of social information and criteria that you previously didn’t care about, but suddenly seems most interesting AND important.

Maybe it’s about be a ‘know all’ or having a natural curiosity about what is going on around you. I can’t stop but help myself to ‘just checking’ out what my Facebook friends are up to. And if they want to share this information with me, so much the better! I don’t really know if this is true for every Facebook-er, but it’s nice to at least have a pretence that you are interested in what goes on in friends lives.

The trouble, as you have found, is to keep this all in balance. Well instead of negotiating around the how to keep up with all your friends, why not take pleasure from the snippets of information that Facebook cleverly divulges to you. You may have noticed that in the last week the Facebook team have decided to take down the ‘thumbs up’, ‘thumbs down’ vote in the main newsfeed which means that you and your friends are open to similar sets of social updates. Intervening in this ‘sophisticated’ method of updates would seem rude and a waste of your precious social time at this stage.

So read, digest and enjoy. Until the next set of Facebook updates…

5 Responses to “#319 What everyone else is up to”

  1. Anonymous says:

    Think u trust other 2 much. I don’t believe 80% of changes. People try 2 boost their status in the eyes of others by exaggerating or making stuff up. Its all what u think others known !

  2. Miss Maz Hardey says:

    @ Anon Two,

    such contrast to Anon One. Like you and your friends, for me honesty and a ‘true to life’ reflection of who someone says that they are is important. i have ‘played’ with various silly status updates , but they tend to be something subtably obnoxious and silly and that i’d be likely to say in ‘real life’ anyway – so my friends know me well enough to take these with a pinch of salt. in terms of false-hoods on SNSs its hard to make too strong assertions to be somthing that you are not as your friends will know anyway, plus this has the feedback effect on various other networks and social loops… Temperorality is not really an issue once established on SNSs, temperamental might be! 😛

  3. Miss Maz Hardey says:

    @ Anon One
    oh the posers! Too much claim is put on that little status bar, who knew that ‘relationship status’ could be the space for so much power and debate! i’m sure many hearts have been loved, lusted and left forlorn from just one click of an update button. Still the comings and goings on FB do make for an entertaining read… even if i’m not ‘in a relationhip with Mr Depp’…

  4. Anonymous says:

    I had a “real” conversation with a friend tonight and the whole subject of not being honest and frank came up: I don’t lie about things. If I lie and someone buys it I lose respect for that person, which is self-fulfilling. I have to be honest. Which becomes a habit which makes you a bad liar…

    Anyway, I am selective about what I put down but these people are my friends – if I’m not honest why bother! Ditto with my friends – though I guess I already know who I trust…

  5. Anonymous says:

    I got obsessed with updates of relationships in my 3rd year at U. Everyone was in and out of single and in and I felt totally out of the scene. Was only after a casual chat did I realise that what was going on was posing not RL. Status was most fantasy or play and did not mean that everyone had deserted the book and labs for a vastly exciting love life. I still use Facebook but don’t believe a lot of what I see going on!

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