#320 Flirting sensibilties
Sunday 4th May, 2008
How can I flirt trouble free on Facebook?
So a change of tone to the blog for this posting query…
Eeeek! Facebook is NOT Match.com, but if you’ve a bevy of fabulous lust worthy friends then there is scope to get tactical. The Felicity Facebook flirtation style of poking, posting and messaging (pester pester) might seem like a good idea in the wee hours of the morning, but things tend to move along quite swiftly to silly incidentials rather than ‘proper’ relationship progression. And if you want more respect, you’re going to have to start giving more to others. The temptation on SNSs is to be connected all the time, and spend more and more time Facebook stalking your intended. Not sure what a Facebook stalk is? If you have ever found yourself ‘digging’ for more information, i.e. actually reading the ‘About me’ part of another’s profile and ‘just checking’ friend lists; you’re entering Facebook stalking territory. You could try to spend some time actually asking your Facebook friend about themselves, rather than the snippeted ‘highlights’ on their profile page.
If they give you the run around there’s no need to broadcast your disappointment. Declarations of undying lurve on a wall post do not a positive impression make. Avoid the ‘you’re the so hot to trot’ postings. More appropriate (and sweet) to just state the facts as you feel them, ‘thrilled to be seeing you soon!’
Keep in mind that Facebook is as much an observable field of content as it is a navigable source of information. I mean that as much as you are reading their feeds and profile information, so they may be reading yours. Hence that wallpost of ‘The BIG HUGE date tonight’ details on your friend’s wall might give away more than you intended. The uncomfortable bragging make things more than awkward for all concerned. Along the same lines, you might want to delete that ‘hotness’ application too whilst you’re at. Whether you’re rated or not, this can only be another source of uncomfortable social negotiation.
In short there are very nuanced and sophisticated levels of engagement occurring on Facebook. It’s not all about Friend Farming (adding ‘friends’ who you may or may not know for the sake of it) or how you are rated in the latest survey from Social Profile.
Back to Facebook flirting you might want to adopt these communicative titbits: Break off Facebook chats by saying things like, ‘Gotta run! I’m off to some (mysterious) fabulous show/restaurant opening/film premiere, whatever isn’t Hagen Daz and the latest episode of The Apprentice. Lace your Facebook conversations with phrases that are witty and succinct. There’s no need to over-egg the pudding and post non-stop ‘amusing’ YouTube clips to their wall.
Next, realise that while it’s an honor to be invited out, it’s also an anxiety of inducing trauma and potential faux pas—to be away from Facebook. To prevent your social standing from falling from grace you might want to practice the art of conversation over Facebook chat and or ‘real’ life chat too!
Lastly if all your Facebook flirting efforts go wrong you can always save social face (and grace) and block user.