Proper Facebook Etiquette

#363 Perfecting a Relationship for the Perfect Facebook Profile

Wednesday 6th August, 2008

My new boyfriend was updating his Profile Page. He is of ‘old, traditional stock’, and via the Facebook ‘Relationship Status’ prompt invited me to be ‘in a relationship’ with him. As an independent lady, I was intending to ‘refuse’ his request, but in the haste of a too much of a bottle of chabis moment I acquiesced. Now I’m receiving ‘congratulatory’ Wall Posts of the kind intended for couples who have, or are about to exchange wedding vows. Should I re-set my status to single, or will this look like we’ve divorced?

Oh its such a wonderful and rare thing to be of the height of attention, and on the receiving end of happy posts of congratulations. Esepcially if the only thing that you’ve actually done is to select ‘in a Relationship’ via a little mouse point-clicking. Personally, I would enjoy the ‘ruse’ whilst you have your friends ‘captivated’ by your personal life. You should only worry if you start getting requests from Facebook ads for tophats and wedding dresses.

If your independent side really does feel under threat, why not treat everyone in your NewsFeed to a little Relationship Status hopping. You could be ‘Single’ Monday, cue sympathetic out-pouring from friends, back ‘in a Relationship’ by Tuesday, more congratulations, ‘its complicated’ on Wednesday (you’ve had some fall out with Mr ‘Old Traditional Stock’, and its all off again), ‘in an open relationship’ for Thursday, ‘engaged’ in time for Friday, and ‘Married’ for Saturday.

Of course by then your friends may have got wise to your stream of ‘stories’, or may enthusiastically catch you out, by requesting to join your ‘open relationship’ on Thursday. Which could makes things ‘its complicated’ again for Sunday. Still there’s always Monday to be ‘single’ all over again.

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