#364 The Friendship Load
Sunday 10th August, 2008
Recently, I moved away from my hometown. This Autumn I’m going to be returning to university for my final year. In the process of moving into my new place and starting the university term in October, I have reassured an old friend of mine that we would continue to stay close, and stay in touch. And since we both use Facebook I thought this would be the perfect way to stay friends without being in each others space all the time. But since I’ve moved, I’ve also moved on. I have a new circle of friends, and now I see how dull, dull, dull my other friends were. It’s not that I don’t ever want to see them again, but I would like to lessen the friend load and not feel obliged to have to call or Poke etc. every night of the week. Also now that I’m living with a new group of people I’ve noticed that the particular friend in question has changed. Now they have become downright two-faced and from this new distance seem immature. I think that we’re both pretending to maintain that we are good friends, even though things are strained between us. How can I get the message across that I’d rather be with my newer, nicer friends?
Hmm this smacks of playground tactics, and ‘I’m your friend, not their friend, best, best, best friend flashbacks’. You might like to delve into Facebook’s Privacy Settings, as these have been recently updated (again) and now offer an even more sophisticated set of preferences. Where once it was only via a ‘Friends’ or a ‘Limited Profile’ option to personalise Facebook content, now Facebook offers privacy settings for groups of friends (so for yourself, you could set up a list of ‘hometown friends’) or even individuals (so your ‘old friend’). So you can tailor your Profile information, status updates, Wall, News and Mini Feeds down to the individual.
In this instance, if for example, you didn’t want your ‘hometown friends’ to know what a super fabulous time you’re having away from them, you could hide your status updates, and deflect the stories from your Feeds. On the other hand, if you would like your friends to ‘get the message’ that you have moved on, well you might want to keep these open and hope that they take the hint. As for that ‘one particular friend’, you could subtly ‘ditch’ her from your Facebook friend list, and ‘Block Profile’.
You might also like the applications ‘Top Friends’, where you can show your appreciation for your ‘best, best friends’, or ‘Social Profile’ that allows your ego to be stroked and to receive updates about how your friends rate or slate you.
But by the tone of your etiquette query, so taken up with your new ‘cooler’ friends, you probably won’t have time for either.Tweet