Proper Facebook Etiquette

#371 Introductions

Saturday 18th October, 2008

I have two friends on Facebook who would be perfect for one another! They should be loved up and want to introduce them. But both have profiles set to ‘private’, any ideas?

Well aren’t you just match-maker royalty! There could be a reason why your friends are so private and careful with their profiles on Facebook. (too much well intended matchmaking?) If you haven’t already, worthy of a look are the Privacy Settings of Facebook (check the top right corner of Facebook to navigate to the right page) and read precisely how the site treats your personal data. AND feeds this to other parties… Scary huh.

So now that you’ve set your profile to an equally private and ‘red alert’ status, back to your dilemma.

Well tempting as it is to offer introductions between friends, and Facebook has made this ‘easier’ and more enticing (annoying) recently with its ‘people you may know’ suggestions, you may want to hold off from buying that Hat just yet. Blind dates have an uncanny way of revealing to associated parties how either they wish they were blind, or could be temporarily blinded. But never one to stand in the way of the ‘true course’ of Lurve, lets not take away that you could be onto something with your Cupid arrows.

Away from Facebook you could construct a chance meeting. Invite both out to dinner, take them to your local, or invent some reason for them both to appear in the same place at the same time, unaware of your hidden agendas. On Facebook things are less subtle. Here you are immediately offering a more formal introduction. For example, you could take things in hand and openly introduce both parties via the ‘suggest friends for’ tab (situated below their profile pictures on their profile page). However, this won’t work if their privacy settings are as high as you mention. Another tact would be to refine a message of introduction, without sounding too pushy/lame/giving away that either party could be construed as ‘desperate’, and ‘compose a message’ to both at the same time with candid attention about who they are, and why you are making the introduction. Awkward? Well perhaps. But if they know you I’m sure they’ll find something to poke about.

Your other more delicate approach could be the setting up of an event, and invitation to both (presently unacquainted) friends. Get them both to sign up to your event and you are a little closer to the purchase of that Hat. Remember though that to follow through this had better be a real event, worthy of real occasioning for two potentially star-crossed lovers. My final suggestion is to let Cupid do what Cupid does best. His slings and arrows have survived letters, telecommunications, text messaging and email as new communications for people to meet and fall in love. So I’m sure he has enough ammo left for social networks. And that’s my final point. Facebook is a social network, not a directory for networking. Perhaps both are already on such an associated such and Matchmaker.com is doing your work for you…

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