#703 A certain Facebook friend disappoints
Wednesday 3rd December, 2008
I keep trying to add a certain friend as a Facebook friend but they never respond. Can I poke them into action?
Depending on your subject sometimes it’s not simply a case of ‘Adding Friend’ on Facebook. The potential friend needs to be suitably open and receptive to such a request. It could be that in ‘real life’ you’re not such great friends after all – as a rebuff on Facebook is as real as it gets! Perhaps time to look for a healthier connection – one-on-one in the pub/following a leisure pursuit/incidental meeting in the street, rather than a forced ‘be my friend’ show. This interpretation is generally for those more casual Facebook users who may simply not be as ‘networked’ or enthusiastic about Facebook as yourself – and hence have lost or not noticed your request as opposed to demonstrating a fairly major social statement by ‘ignoring’ your request.
‘why haven’t you messaged me back?!’ even I have found myself hastily (after two months of ‘no reply’) asking one of my ‘friends’. His explanation was that whilst he had indeed read and received my message his absent of a posted reply was because he had simply forgot about its existence and contents. I blame myself. First I know that he is not a particularly adept Facebook users (logs on about once every two weeks) and my message was not particularly interesting anyway.
So as a suggestion, you could add some style to your Friend Request. Instead of a pending ‘Add as Friend’ prompt attach a message to this action – perhaps with a ‘secret’ or appropriately mysterious intrigue. A friend of a Facebook friend attached the following to their request to an ex of her boyfriend – ‘Add as Friend’ came with the message ‘because we’ve both let our standards slip and rolled in the sack with a limp loser’. Harsh – and yet strangely effective. Like a tale that best befits a Bette Midler led ‘First Wives Club’ by the end of the week there was a further six connections made off the back (or rather front) of the shared familiarity of ‘a limp loser’. Whether these are friends one would want in a network is another subject for debate.
Otherwise avoid derogatory name-calling/wall posting as a reaction to an ignored request – you might want to continue your connection off Facebook.
Also the situation could simply be a conspiracy against you. ‘They’ not only ‘don’t like’ and are ignoring you, but this is led by two-faced action, lies, deception and potential of a ‘double life’ that would be at risk of being exposed if they were to accept your friend invitation. for this particular situation I would rather not know. So no, do not ‘poke them’ into action.Tweet