Proper Facebook Etiquette


Sunday 21st December, 2008

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A Christmas parady: The Night Before Christmas

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,

In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there;

But wait, what’s this?
The children were not nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads;

Instead they were on Facebook ignoring ‘rubbish’ friend requests,
Mamma called for them to put on their bed caps,
And to ‘settle down’ for a long winter’s nap.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,

None sprang from the computer to see what was the matter.

Instead the poking and messaging continued to show,
Who was the most popular and who St. Nick would surely know.
Outside a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer,

Were all ignored in favour of Facebook or disconnection fear.

The little old driver, so lively and quick,

Had the most friends on Facebook and is known as St. Nick.

More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

“Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!

On, Comet! on Cupid! on, Donder and Blitzen!

To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!

Or I shan’t add you as a friend, no not at all!”

Such a threat mattered little as the dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,

Were met without obstacle, high in the sky,

As up atop the roof-tops the coursers flew,

This was a sight worthy of photo for Facebook view.
And then, in a twinkling, all halted on a roof

With the prancing and pawing of each little hoof.

The children so preoccupied with Facebook failed to turn around,

As down the chimney came St. Nicholas with a bound.

Just like his profile he dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,

But this time his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A bundle of toys he had in his pack,

Was ignored by the children who’s faces remained turned in favour of their backs.
For St. Nick, at first his eyes twinkled! with dimples – how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!

But then his droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

As the children failed to acknowledge the man covered in snow;

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
Clattered to the floor in disbelief.

The broad face and a little round belly,

Shook, in anger like a bowlful of jelly.

Here he was all chubby and plump,
Ignored for the likes of Facebook chums;

With a wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

He turned off the power, stopping the computer dead;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to work,

Taking back all the stockings; to turn with a jerk,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

He said ‘that’s what happens when your attention goes’;

So he sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a nod,

And away they all flew as if on the rob!

I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,

“Happy Christmas to all, except You on Facebook, and good-night!”

ho ho ho Merry Faceobook Christmas one and all!


  1. Nappy says:

    Have you seen the story of Facebook’s policy to remove any photos it sees as obscene, which = fully exposed breast. There has bee a virtual nurse-in, with mothers uploading breastfeeding photos to their profiles.

    The point of Facebook is to upload photographs that the someone thinks people will find interesting – when no one does and who cares. See one breast-feeding mother you have seen them all! So who cares? Facebook should chill.

  2. Anonymous says:

    They should read the Blog lol

    Hannah Weiss and Katie Moakler ridiculed Chevonne Ivors, eight, while chatting on the social networking site.

    Mum Nicola, 33, was also branded “evil and twisted”. In the exchange — visible on Weiss’s public “Wall” — Moakler, 25, wrote: “When is it half term??? I am going INSANE. I feel sick, bloody chav mothers . . .”

    Weiss, 24, replied: “Well, we do work in chav central!” She also said she may tell Chevonne’s mum that the girl needs “a statement” — meaning the youngster should be placed in special needs education.

    ulham, West London.

    But despite an investigation involving the governors, the teachers kept their jobs.

    Furious Nicola, who has now taken Chevonne out of the school, said: “What they did was appallingly cruel.

    “I was upset and angry about what they said because it was untrue.

    “But to let them keep their jobs was madness — they should not be allowed to teach ever again.”


    The teachers are believed to have targeted Chevonne after Nicola asked the school why Weiss had not spotted her daughter falling behind with her reading.


    Nicola added: “She obviously didn’t like being spoken to about it, judging by what has happened. But at least Chevonne has been brought up to behave properly — certainly better than these two.

    “She has had to move schools and leave her friends behind because of what has happened. I just hope they are both ashamed.”

    Hammersmith and Fulham Borough Council confirmed the teachers had been let off with a warning about their future conduct.

    Sulivan Primary head Alison Newbold added: “I would like to apologise to the mother of this child for what has been a very traumatic episode.

    From the Sun

  3. Anonymous says:

    Happy Xmass

  4. Santa says:

    Happy Christmas

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