#719 Solving Facebook dilemmas
Thursday 26th February, 2009
I have a very close group of friends. Naturally we’re all friends on Facebook. Recently there’s been issues within the group as someone’s done something they should not have done. I’m the only one that knows. I think that should confess and am tempted to post something on their Wall. What is the right thing to do?
My, my how mysterious. Sounds like a bad plotline from 90210.
Since you’re not revealing the ‘what’ it is that ‘they’ have done I’ll have to advise via the seat of my pants if you will.
Since getting into this situation your options can be broken down into five social possibilities:
- First, stick to your definition of right and wrong. Come down hard on your friend and warn them that you have the evidence and you’re not afraid to write it on the Wall – literally.
- Second, stick to a bystander position. This is their concern, not yours. Let them sort it out. Whatever ‘it’ is.
- Third, while you stick to your sense of morality get stuck into the story and reveal all, but don’t reveal names. One method would be to message everyone in your group via an en mass Facebook posting. You may not be thanked by one particularly friend, but its likely with others this will be a source for amusement/contention/arguments/falling out/making up. It’s your assessment whether you take the ‘risk’ and whether you’ll be thanked.
- Fourth, you ‘confess’ all naming names both yours and theirs. Social suicide? See how many ‘friend posts’ you have left in the morning.
- Fifth, forget about it. You know, they know that you know. They know that you know, that they know that you…
Facing the same choice as you (and without knowing the ‘big secret) I’d approach cautiously at first – AND not by Facebook. Hear them out. The worst outcome is that you both fall out, but this is much nicer than an emotional tirade across Facebook and a ‘she said/ he said’ attack(s). The best outcome; everything is out in the open – you’re happy, they’ve been offered ‘forgiveness’ and understanding.
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