Proper Facebook Etiquette

#736 Courtly matters: Facebook relationship survival

Friday 5th June, 2009

No that I’ve found love over Facebook what am I going to do with it?…

I speculate here that the ‘it’ you refer is to the love aspects of your query, rather than Facebook. But to cover all bases, in terms of Facebook and ‘what are you going to do with it?’ – quite simply continue on-eth! If Facebook bought you together. Well it can also hold you together. Note though that inappropriate poking, Wall posting and ex-boy/girlfriending may land you in hot water and the social assimilations across Facebook will only succeed in pulling you apart.

Now if the ‘it’ is, as I suspect, the love aspect of your question then the answer is this: Do what makes you both happy! Maybe less time flirting across Facebook and more face-to-face poking. You might even want to go the whole (smug) Facebook hog and update your respective Profile pages to ‘in a relationship’, or remain suitably ‘mysterious’ (or perhaps indecisive in your friends eyes) of ‘its complicated’. Then again ‘married’ could reel in some interesting friend feedback.

You make no indication from your question whether the love you’ve found is ‘what you’ve been looking for’ or is mutually shared. Is this love one-way, a figment of Facebook infatuation or a real relationship driven by reciprocated Wall posts, messages and Gift applications?… And who says romance is dead.

With regards to more general love etiquette Now that relationships are increasingly being forged and sustained across Facebook the etiquette surrounding courtship in general has been largely forgotten and is encountered only by those who can be accused of being the most old fashioned. Upon entering into a dating scenario there’s no need for all the cards to be on the table at once. This is the getting to know each other part. The nicest part. Should there be ‘baggage’ or indiscretions that could cast aspersions on where you are now and who you are with then you should remove these from conscience. You can share too much though!

Such disclosure amounts to the equivalent of the ‘where are we heading’ or ‘what does this all mean situation’… This is the moment to update your relationship status. The most important etiquette: Nobody is allowed to ‘dump’ or end a relationship over Facebook. That is not respectful. Unless the other party have been a complete arse of course. After the end of a relationship one is allowed to ‘throw-up’ or rather post whatever you like of their Wall. If you de-friend them immediately after they can’t write a witty reply…

Well done you. You’ve just survived your first Facebook relationship.

4 Responses to “#736 Courtly matters: Facebook relationship survival”

  1. Dr Mariann Hardey says:

    @ Real.Me
    having just acquired (snapped up from the jaws of other m.hardey's) my own username there is a certain 'satisfaction' with being more than a number.

    I suspect the novelty will wear off soon though…

  2. Anonymous says:

    Trouble is too many buggers on there – you don't know really who they are even when introduced by friends. Too many people out there to exploit you.

  3. Mave says:

    Met guy on hol gave him my face ID. 3 months later he has put up pics of me and him and Tagged me. So my boyfriend sees then and asks whats occurring? It was just a hol thing but the guy won't take the pics down and now is going on about hoe much we did (it was not that much). So this guy is upsetting everyone – my parents can see it all too and my boyfriend is a family friend. How do I get him to back OFF?

  4. Real.Me says:

    Whats the word on the new Facebook name system – that gives you a simple, unique address, such as http://www.facebook.com/joebloggs, instead of the current system whereby profile pages have a URL with a randomly assigned number?

    Know that there will be a name grab when this goes up in a day or two.

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