Proper Facebook Etiquette

#2000 Throwing my top off on Facebook: Breast EXPOSED

Friday 24th July, 2009

I have lots of pictures on Facebook! Doesn’t everyone?! In the past couple of days I have taken down all those pictures of me with my tiny four-square-inches of chest and put up instead my new and ENLARGED breasts! – Yes, I have had a breast enlargement! Now I am so proud of my new look and my new chest! And I’m topless! Some of my friends have been harsh in their comments of me – jealous? Others love my new revealing snaps. Should I take my pics down, or is it their problem and not mine?

Wow get you Super Woman with your confidence gains! Well judgement and good taste is in the eye/mind of the beholder – and it is wonderful that you are so focused on the positives of your newly acquired chest. Well done you. Can you applaud yourself, or are appendages such that there is now a barrier in the way? Do applaud if you can. *clap* *clap* *clap*

Sadly, now women are so rarely allowed to reveal all. Not without the wolf whistles, jeers and judgement of others – how the French get away with being considered as de rigeur I know not, but the most common etiquette surrounding topless pictures on Facebook is to do so on your PRIVATE album with acredit of good taste and less haste.

Let me remind your of this, Facebook is not the French Riveria. And least you have forgotten all decorum, then I would urge you to keep your new plastic friends under-wraps. There is after all a certain level of mystery to be retained that could be to your advantage and will save you from the more sleazy of encounters/commentary on Facebook. You are not Jodie Marsh or Jordan. Or are you?…

Yes, you may be right in your perception that others (mostly girlfriends) are ‘jealous’ of your new acquirements, but their criticism(s) may also have your interests at heart. Unless you are a model/in the glamour industry you may want a rethink and ask: What kind of image are you setting up of yourself? Not least as, unless your future employer is ‘with you’ in terms of your newly appointed bullets, then there may be further tarnish to your image which could be seen as ‘tacky’ and ‘easy’ and are hardly the requirements to secure a successful career trajectory.

Upon entering the networks of Facebook, you should remove all aspirations about porn-site notoriety from your head and fling this into the abyss of other areas of the internet. May I suggest that MySpace may be more suited for your clevage bound sensibilities. I believe that both Jordan and Jodie have pages here so you’ll be in good company.

Your attitude may, however, be the future of Facebook. It might catch on to be Bodybook, nay Boobbook as a more ‘decorative’ carving out of the self – quick claim this domain name now! If this is the case I fall at your feet in swift notice of your chest-pertise, and shall divorce my Profile from all things related to face and instead point this to breasts.

Should you find yourself ever in the position of relocating your level of taste on the side of ‘good’ against ‘bad’ Facebook does allow you to delete images as a block lot – so you need not delay in your reassingment of breast montages.

Until such time, I propose that nobody is allowed to leave Facebook until we have all seen and commented on your chest. I suspect that this will either make you so happy you need never log into Facebook again as your head explodes with ego, or leaves you shaking and vulnerable to every slight and criticism as your particulars are measured by all Facebook-kind. And presently this includes several MI6 and MI5 agents. So ask yourself, what would Bond’s favourite on the beach Honeychile do? Stay in her bikini or throw caution and string to the wind and reveal all? Again mystery retained is more captivating then bullets in eyes.

BUT this does not mean that you cannot flaunt your new assets when on holiday. In fact it is quite customary to keep things exposed as much for your health (seriously see here) and others admiration. Be prepared, the combination of cheap cocktails and undercooked exposed flesh under the midday sun may induce to have thrown in your direction some worthless Oik – on the prowl for an equally worthless trollop.

So have I revealed too much, or have you?…

15 Responses to “#2000 Throwing my top off on Facebook: Breast EXPOSED”

  1. Sunday says:

    Better than my Sunday paper. A facebook page three anyone?

    What would a text onlt SnS look like?

  2. fronting says:

    Look people its not difficult. Would you leave naked pics of yourself around for anyone to find? No. Why not? Cos its bad.

    Shake what yo mamma gave you fine. Just not up in my face you hussy.

  3. May says:

    Is this possible? I remember reading that Facebook had banned pictures of mothers feeding babies with bared boobs. Do they still do this? Anyone here in a position to test this – have baby plus breast feeding?

  4. Modesty Blase says:

    Point is are such images degrading -especially to women?

    At another level will the photos be embarrassing and a potential threat to future relationships and employment?

    I get holiday snaps – fine – go share but women (and how about a 14 year old?) promoting themselves primarily through their breasts – bit of a backward step IMO.

  5. DD says:

    Boobs are my best feature – set up a Facebook group Get em Out for the Lads. Got taken down so moved to MySpace.

  6. Hot2Trot says:

    Examples please :)

  7. dan man says:

    Sign my chest!

  8. Anonymous says:

    Must use photoshop. LOL

  9. book worm says:

    So is there a book to buy? Are you on Amazon?

  10. Anonymous says:

    What about penis enlargement?

  11. tag says:

    Tacky. Girls who show boob are cheap

  12. donna karen says:

    Love! The blog. Just had a boob job. Can't wait to show all friends! I can take the stick!

  13. Henry says:

    Not difficult folks – keep your clothes….

  14. cyndaminthia says:

    Maz – always love reading your stuff. Hope you're well, and congrats on the doctorate! 😉 (I think I might be a bit late in congratulations)

Leave a Reply