#755 It’s never over!
Sunday 2nd August, 2009
Dear Mariann, I dumped my girlfriend on Facebook. Yeah, I know from reading this blog that that’s not a nice thing to do, but she was doing my head in. So now I’m ‘single’ and it wasn’t an easy decision. But since the break-up her sl*pp*r friend has been giving me grief and my exes status still reads as ‘in a relationship’. So what now, can I force her to be single on Facebook and how do I get rid of her annoying friend?!…
Well no frills from you in terms of relationship distress or conjecture. So where to start? How about at the ending. The ‘dream’ relationship is over. You’ve announced it on Facebook, so it must be official. Proxmity to such madness in terms of the ‘sl*pp*r friend’ (apologies if, dear reader you are of a sensitive disposition) appears to be making you anxious, stressed and ill at ease. But, time for joy! You are free, now ‘single’ and should not be ‘b’vered’ by such exchanges. Being the sort to dump on Facebook I would have thought that any kind of feedback would be like water off the proverbial duck and back.
Here are some basics for you. 1. treat others as you would want to be treated. 2. Pull out your focus. It’s not only about ‘you’ and your status, but riding the consequences of your actions. You describe how your girlfriend is yet to update her status on Facebook, well give the girl a chance. She could either be weeping and submerged under her duvet for days, too weak to log-in, stripped away of confidence and only willing to replay endless Jeremy Kyle, OR she may not even have noticed your split (and update) and be enjoying pimms, good times and oblivious to your tirade against her sl*pp*r friend. 3. time to take notes for future relations. It really is the height of bad form to destroy not only your image, but your girlfriend’s on Facebook by such crass firing off of personal information. A status update is fine, but best done behind the scenes, perhaps without the direct and obtuse announcement to other friends in your network. By not paying attention to no. 3, you’re asking for trouble and this leads to the inevitable Ms sl*pp*r. You have been warned. The warning in this instance is, I appreciate, a little too late for this occasion.
So I am delighted that you have posted to my little blog. It’s marvellous that you feel the need to share. Again though, I am asking myself how and why you’ve taken this course of action, rather than sorting the situation out with your ex yourself. This seems a classic case of delay tactics in terms of strategy and stinks a little of ‘wimp’ and ‘whinger’. I wonder why you are really in a quandry about this at all. Perhaps you’re simply using Facebook, and perhaps even this blog, to vent as a platform the bad form of your girlfriend (your judgement) and – of course – of her friends.
Allowing your exes status to bother you seems to be a method to put yourself in the centre of the drama that you instigated. For one who pushed the ball into motion for such proceedings, in terms of the split, you seem very wrapped up in a relationship that should be filed under ‘over’ and is with someone who is now ‘none of your business’. So you split on Facebook. Why not remove the itch completely and ‘block’ both the ex and her friend from your profile. It really is that simple.
Other routes are also open to you. You could befriend Ms sl*pp*r – that w/could really call her bluff. If she (the ex) is as ‘bad’ as you make out in your (extensive) message to me, then time to celebrate that a distancing, and the possibility that she has matured enough not to want to enter the fray of break-up dramas. By allowing such dysfunction to flourish between the both of you makes you both look as fools – although be-it delightfully entertaining for mutual friends who cannot help but view your actions. I’m sure there are some who ask, ‘Today, are they on, or are they off?…’
I would advise that it is too late to canvass for allies. Time to take on the chin Ms sl*pp*rs target practice. The less you engage the better all round. The opening for frank and open discussions are over. Even on Facebook.Tweet