Proper Facebook Etiquette

#755 It’s never over!

Sunday 2nd August, 2009

Dear Mariann, I dumped my girlfriend on Facebook. Yeah, I know from reading this blog that that’s not a nice thing to do, but she was doing my head in. So now I’m ‘single’ and it wasn’t an easy decision. But since the break-up her sl*pp*r friend has been giving me grief and my exes status still reads as ‘in a relationship’. So what now, can I force her to be single on Facebook and how do I get rid of her annoying friend?!…

Well no frills from you in terms of relationship distress or conjecture. So where to start? How about at the ending. The ‘dream’ relationship is over. You’ve announced it on Facebook, so it must be official. Proxmity to such madness in terms of the ‘sl*pp*r friend’ (apologies if, dear reader you are of a sensitive disposition) appears to be making you anxious, stressed and ill at ease. But, time for joy! You are free, now ‘single’ and should not be ‘b’vered’ by such exchanges. Being the sort to dump on Facebook I would have thought that any kind of feedback would be like water off the proverbial duck and back.

Here are some basics for you. 1. treat others as you would want to be treated. 2. Pull out your focus. It’s not only about ‘you’ and your status, but riding the consequences of your actions. You describe how your girlfriend is yet to update her status on Facebook, well give the girl a chance. She could either be weeping and submerged under her duvet for days, too weak to log-in, stripped away of confidence and only willing to replay endless Jeremy Kyle, OR she may not even have noticed your split (and update) and be enjoying pimms, good times and oblivious to your tirade against her sl*pp*r friend. 3. time to take notes for future relations. It really is the height of bad form to destroy not only your image, but your girlfriend’s on Facebook by such crass firing off of personal information. A status update is fine, but best done behind the scenes, perhaps without the direct and obtuse announcement to other friends in your network. By not paying attention to no. 3, you’re asking for trouble and this leads to the inevitable Ms sl*pp*r. You have been warned. The warning in this instance is, I appreciate, a little too late for this occasion.

So I am delighted that you have posted to my little blog. It’s marvellous that you feel the need to share. Again though, I am asking myself how and why you’ve taken this course of action, rather than sorting the situation out with your ex yourself. This seems a classic case of delay tactics in terms of strategy and stinks a little of ‘wimp’ and ‘whinger’. I wonder why you are really in a quandry about this at all. Perhaps you’re simply using Facebook, and perhaps even this blog, to vent as a platform the bad form of your girlfriend (your judgement) and – of course – of her friends.

Allowing your exes status to bother you seems to be a method to put yourself in the centre of the drama that you instigated. For one who pushed the ball into motion for such proceedings, in terms of the split, you seem very wrapped up in a relationship that should be filed under ‘over’ and is with someone who is now ‘none of your business’. So you split on Facebook. Why not remove the itch completely and ‘block’ both the ex and her friend from your profile. It really is that simple.

Other routes are also open to you. You could befriend Ms sl*pp*r – that w/could really call her bluff. If she (the ex) is as ‘bad’ as you make out in your (extensive) message to me, then time to celebrate that a distancing, and the possibility that she has matured enough not to want to enter the fray of break-up dramas. By allowing such dysfunction to flourish between the both of you makes you both look as fools – although be-it delightfully entertaining for mutual friends who cannot help but view your actions. I’m sure there are some who ask, ‘Today, are they on, or are they off?…’

I would advise that it is too late to canvass for allies. Time to take on the chin Ms sl*pp*rs target practice. The less you engage the better all round. The opening for frank and open discussions are over. Even on Facebook.

15 Responses to “#755 It’s never over!”

  1. Christian says:

    This is why the church is against SNS. The bible reminds us it is about f-2-f. I was on MySpace but no more. Do like blogs and may have my own if the church allows

  2. syd says:

    He's just a jerk. Get over it.

    Love the blog though!

  3. amelie says:

    Can you jsu be friends on facebook. I'm friends with a guy, but don't fancy him. But I think he likes me. What do I do?… de-friend him?…

  4. shirle says:

    Maybe he should add the slapper as a friend and dsate her instead!

    Isn't this all a bit school days people?…

    What I want to know is how to stay friends with my ex but also friends (more than) with my other ex…

    ?

  5. leon says:

    He shouldn't have given it to her in the first place! Looks like they've both lost out now.

    What do I do about my mum being on facebook with embarassing pics?…

  6. Eleanor says:

    Strange what goes on – anyone read the story in the papers about that girl who learnt about the murder of her family in Melbourne through Facebook?

  7. Celestria says:

    Made me laugh – what are men all about?

  8. Ben says:

    This may not always be real. I guy I dated (doh) posted stuff like this in the hope that it made him more interesting – which it did. But it was mostly made up as he in RL is v boring

    Might be a gay thing thou!

  9. Aelicia says:

    But is this game playing?

    Men do this all the time – do you not male readers?

    Well it might just be those that I come across – but getting cynical @ 30!

  10. Anonymous says:

    Interesting how what before was played out in private is now done in public view. A good development IMO

  11. Jane Too says:

    Trouble is men like game play – some more than others. This is yet another aspect of it. What is revealing is how that caring sharing metrosexula guy suddenly turns to reveal his true form once you stop thinking he is totally wonderful.

  12. Sandra says:

    Better then the Sundays….all men are pigs!

  13. Marie-ll says:

    do women also treat men in this way Mariann. It seems that men are always dumping!

  14. Henry says:

    I find a bowl of tuna works fine….:) yum yum yum

  15. Hugh says:

    I keep several ladies queued up on FaceBook and never change my status. keeps them on their toes and as they say 'treat em mean and they will come a running'
    Might be a bloke tactic thou

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