Proper Facebook Etiquette

#1040 What if i’m not an A on Facebook?

Tuesday 18th August, 2009

Dear Mariann,
I get my A level results on the 20th. Might be OK or not. At college the thing to do is to post the results to Facebook. I’m scared that I won’t get the results I want for Uni and if I post everyone will know. I’d want to go hide for a bit while trying clearing. Might not happen. Not sure what to do. If I did alright I suppose I’d feel good about posting.
What am I saying? Less good results might get sympathy but I’d have to see all those getting the results that they wanted and I’d feel bad – even if I shouldn’t. Is it best just not to be on Facebook for a bit?
(this dilemma was originally posted by ‘RalphSus’ in a reply to the post: Boob bothering attentions)

A heady dilemma. Not only for intellect, but ego too. And let’s also a potential for jubiliation! and triumphantness! and then, the flip side is pain and jealousy.

In my day there was no Facebook (this was the early 2000s, i’m not THAT old), but there was the college Wall. The offline equivalent of the Facebook NewsFeed and personal Profile Wall. This meant full public publication of our archievements – or otherwise. I think that this was a ploy by the teaching staff to show-off which of their little darlings had achieved the OxBridge status (pat on the back in the staff room), and to revel in the uncertainty of those who did not (i’m sure bets went on for odds on favourite. I hope I proved an unexpected exception with 4 rather good grades if I do say so myself. Lets just say I had two of a kind and nothing below a Bumble Bee). Not that we all must aspire to OxBridge Dah-ling. My own routes which led to Sussex and York have proved just as fruitful for intellect and the ‘student’ experience. Most cities and universities have pubs and clubs afterall. I only did it for the gowns and hats though. Which get bigger and floppier the higher up the academic ladder you’re prepared to climb.

Posting your grades has the potential to throw egg on your face. Scenario 1. your results are (as I am fully confident they shall be with dedication and hard work) what you want. So you post ‘success!’ You are likely to receive many congratulations. Huzzah! And to hell what anyone else thinks. This is your moment. Your hours of hard work and you should share with others. Scenario 2. works like this. You do not achieve the heights of intellectual joy. It is likely that once you get over the sick in the stomach ‘shock’ that you will want to share and update your status regardless. Between running for the nearest bathroom and reaching for Kleenex. Yes posting this scenario is a cry for sympathy, but it is also cathartic too. This way you do not have to repeat yourself endlessly with the ‘no i didn’t etc’ explanations.

If scenario 2 occurs. First do not panic. Second, after heart-in-mouth intakes of breath do not log in into Facebook without first seeking reassurance from college staff (if they are so sympathetic and credible), the lovely people who wo/man the lines on Clearing and friends who will also be sharing joy and pain all at once. This is important. Logging in too soon could send you mad. You might also miss potential Clearing option.

Results day is a strange mix of emotions. Whatever happens you will want to share your ups and possibly downs with everyone. Best to update only when you know how you feel though. Posting ‘what am i going to do?’ is only going to invite that ‘well intentioned’ dialogue with someone who may have your best interests at heart, but you really wish would f*ck right off!

Oh I would caution against swearing too. This really is the height of vulgarity and you would never catch me falling foul of such sh*te linguistic outbursts. Not since I’ve got my A-Levels.

Whatever your reactions, I gurantee that your composure may slip at some point during the results process. Whether you want to broadcast this to everyone will be down to gut instinct. No doubt those who are successful in not logging in or updating will be spared the ‘what did you get?’ dialogues. But then thats half the ‘fun’ of getting the results.

If in doubt make out you got all A’s. Smug git. No-one’s going to comment on you now.

11 Responses to “#1040 What if i’m not an A on Facebook?”

  1. DaveD says:

    GCSEs nest up. My bother will get the results and I have told him to keep off MySpace for a couple of days. The computer might 'breakdown' to provide a bit of distance. Can't escape tx but SNS can be more brutal.

  2. TheSunPaper says:

    VILE Keeley Houghton was yesterday jailed for internet bullying following a string of website taunts against a teenager – which included a threat to "murder the bitch".
    She became the first person in Britain to be caged over such attacks after a merciless campaign against victim Emily Moore.

    Houghton – now 18 – wrote in her home page profile on the social networking website Facebook: "Keeley is going to murder the bitch. She is an actress. What a f***ing liberty. Emily F***head Moore."

  3. AStudent says:

    Got the grades just but not thanks to Facebook. When I was revising I was most of time on the computer on Facebook. It rots your brain.

  4. Anonymous says:

    Results in and yes FYO all over FB, Tx and Twitter. No escape. Don't know if this is good or not but there is no way to hide and if you don't put up there someone in your network will do.

  5. Dr Mariann Hardey says:

    @ All getting their results, good luck! And have a good time tonight whatever the outcome!

  6. Anonymous says:

    Thanks for the advice. Results day – nightmare – SNS bad enough and those closer have phone tx!

  7. Dr Mariann Hardey says:

    @ PaulOx,

    I really feel sympathy for the whole results process. As if doing the damn things were not stress enough!

    Good luck! This marks the beginning of new things and a change of life! It's time to seize the day !

  8. PaulOx says:

    Thanks for the advice – this is a very relevant theme and one that the press should add to all that 'how to cope with your A level results' articles. I want to go and hide and reveal all when I am ready BUT can't do that with Tx and SNS.

  9. Anonymous says:

    We are loving the new photo

  10. Henry :) says:

    My friends get more tuna than me. Shall i update my status to 2 tines?

  11. Anonymous says:

    Where did the legs come from?!!!

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