#569 At perusal of their digital footprint
Tuesday 29th September, 2009
Presumably you’ve seen quite the smorgasbord of digital socially-related emotional trauma. May I ask what your advice would be for the following completely hypothetical situation.
Gentleman falls head over heels with digital personality, with whom he can only associate at a remove. Obviously only a remove, because his only interaction with said personality is his perusal of their digital footprint. You know the sort of thing… FB presence, blog and so on.
Are there accepted steps for online wooing, or is this always and only ever going to be creepy and deeply sad?
I ask, of course, merely for information.
Dear R, We are all placed, in some form or other, at a digital remove. This can only serve as a most fortuitous starting point to your potential charm offensive. One can safely assume that the particularly digital personality holds apparent interest both at an aesthetic (I know how crass of me to imply such indicators) and intellectual regard. I cannot imagine that you would follow their footprints should the intended not encompass all of the above. For why then would they make such worthy candiditure?…
Now let us cut to the chase, where things may err into the side of creepy and deeply sad can be offset by the application of a subset of rules of irrelevance. For example, whether you have traced their digital footprint through Facebook, LinkedIn, blog posts, Twitter etc., your desire is likely to be ignited through one or all of the previous encounters, which together generate in you the contour of excitment about this particuar person/a. Thus, one can safely assume that ‘in meeting’ their elegance and the strength of your feelings would structure attentions in a non-creepy and removed from ‘saddo’ manner. Such is the appeal of a personality, desire and lusted for propensities.
But what of your next move? Perhaps I am safe to assume that you already are within their network/s and can reposition yourself from a closer angel than that of removed admirer. And so onto the wooing. Just as the properties of material social context hold their own ‘rule’ and rituals, it is just as effective to employ these across the digital landscape. If one is wanting to penetrate the mutual and reciprocated activity of an encounter with another then it will fall to you to entice the other. The expectation here is for you to take on the role of Wooer to your Wooed. As a result, if the attraction is mutual, all participants should fall into place in terms of their role and presence.
The social fact is that whenever a person seeks to entice another this must be commenced with a first tentative enquiry to establish IF there is possibility for mutual entreaty – and also whether their particular attributes adhere to the person/a to which you find yourself attracted – and then lead with the various merits of attraction that you intend to play a part. In short, what about your own digital footprint holds attraction for them.
Social presence and the accompanying art of communication holds at its basis a strategic directing of social interludes, snippets and display. Thus, such strategy is rule based established by a ‘what if’ and ‘does as if they were to’ reflexive sequence of events. Keep in mind, that whatever their digital presence this reduction of personal characterisation tells only part of the story. Yes image, video, updates, words etc. very effectively draw a picture of the self, but only the one the individual chooses to paint and braodcast to others. If they are as prolific as you suggest it is likely that they have left nothing to chance and intended their person/a to enrapt you in exactly the way you describe.
Perhaps you have not been the hunter after all. You are the hunted. Act accordingly.
Otherwise cut yourself off from such entanglements of digital life and find yourself a nice Yorkshire lass.Tweet