Proper Facebook Etiquette

#570 Is this Facebook abuse?

Wednesday 30th September, 2009

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Dear Mariann,

Is this Facebook abuse? A freshers wek competition to get the max number of friends but these won’t be real friends.

(From FresherAnon via email)

‘Abuse’, as I am reliably informed by a few swift clicks of iGoogly carries with it some sense of harm; or to use so badly that one impairs damage. What kind of Fresher rituals involve the debasement of simple meet and greet polite propriety in this manner? What’s wrong with just meeting new people and incidently bumping into each other along the way (both digitally and amid the drinks offers in the student bar). Oh it’s all changed since my day. But let us not fall into the trap of a ‘good ol days’ rhetoric as I am neither old, nor ‘good’ in my faculties in this respect.

I suppose such rituals are to affirm the most unhinged and facile of heart into believing they have success as the ‘most popular’. I am reminded of one such crowd I left behind (and since far behind) at Secondary School. They were the Hair Posse’ – so called as they were famed for hair flicks, so to entice the ‘hotties’ off the football pitch. In this way the hair posse’ were paried with the sports jocks, and together occupied more time in front of mirrors, as they made claims they were on the verge of ‘doing it’, rather than use their minds to progress any standard of life, education etc. But perhaps I am just jealous I couldn’t get my ponytail to flick with the best of them. I do believe they all make worthy living flicking their hair around poles these days – a credit crunch proof vocation. So that’s me told.

If you want more friends on Facebook, rather than be involved in friend farming, actually go out and meet people. Some people are comfortable with this, its called ‘getting to know one another’, or ‘partying’ to refer to its more popularised and preferable substance.

Some people are comfortable with this, they are usually of the hair posse’ ilk. Some are not, they are known as inhibited, shy or just ‘the nerds’. If you are worried about inadequate Facebook attention you could try stutting into the student bar with ‘Friend Me!’ composed in body paint. Should fellow student companions react with horror, they are only ‘jealous’ of your creativity – and ability to paint so legibly on your own body.

Otherwise, in a loud voice, refer to something high-principled, and the word ‘charity’, and you may even gain a financial profit for your riske’ outing. If not a cold.

7 Responses to “#570 Is this Facebook abuse?”

  1. Rob says:

    I am ashamed to say that I chuckled at your terrible joke.

  2. Dr Mariann Hardey says:


    They're both a 'Baaaaa'd idea too.

    ba bom.

  3. Rob says:

    Could I just make the point that 'friend farming' sounds like some kind of organ harvesting scam?

  4. Anonymous says:

    Abuse is a serious issue for many users for example, Keeley, 18, is serving a three month sentence in a young offenders' institute, having been found guilty of harassment on Facebook.
    Her sentence the first handed out for bullying through a social networking site.
    Read more:

  5. SuizeQ says:

    The worse recent example of abuse must be the application that allowed users to create polls so that those objecting to the health reforms built a poll asking if President Obama should be killed. The possible responses to the poll were "yes," "maybe," "if he cuts my health care" and "no." Sick Sick Sick. The app was cut after – according to Facebook – "The USSS [Secret Service] sent us an e-mail late this morning PDT asking us to take it down. At that point, it had already been removed, and we let them know."

  6. Lisa says:

    Lisa Presley former nanny has just sued her but Lisa is back up at here claiming the woman broke her contract by posting photos of Presley's twin babies on Facebook. So Presley countersued Christine White (the nanny) who claims she was forced to work ridiculous hours without getting paid.Presley claims White snapped 164 photographs and shot video of her twins and her private residence …then posted some of them on Facebook. Presley alleges White flagrantly violated the confidentiality agreement she signed.

    Abusive? borrowed from

  7. Anonymous says:

    A friend has an ex girlfriend he can't quite cut off from. A year after they've split up she's still constantly contacting him to hang out. The ex recently discovered that the guy is seeing someone new. The ex used Facebook to send rather nasty messages to the guy's new girl. Now that is abuse!

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