Proper Facebook Etiquette

#597 meeting her has been a bit like falling in love…

Friday 4th December, 2009

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Dear Mariann,
I am in a new relationship. We have only been out on a few occasions, but meeting her has been a bit like falling in love. So what would be an appropriate Christmas gift? – one that says ‘we are in a relationship’ and you mean more to me than a Facebook poke.
(From JensenG via email – with thanks for the mince pie recipe too).

In some circles Christmas present gifting can signify so much more and, indeed, less than the gifter intended. Generally when we are children we really could not give one hoot for the actual present, but rather its packaging. I have always been partial to a big box.

With this in mind, you had best promote your package in the finest way possible. Then as you pass her your token of love, hold eye contact for longer than the most fleeting of glances and lean in for a sweet lingering kiss. That way she won’t give a hoot for the trappings of what you give, but rather the heart-felt sentiment of the moment. If you can find a snow machine all the better.

I would shy away from any ‘update’ or announcement on Facebook. This speaks of being a little too desperate for a relationship and thus you will appear as over-sentimental and clingy.

In short keep the package big, the wrapping neat and any sentiment sincere.

Merry Christmas

17 Responses to “#597 meeting her has been a bit like falling in love…”

  1. elward says:

    Dr. Any advice on how not to fall in love over facebook. I've become infatuated with friend. I facebook stalk them. Shame.

  2. Dr Mariann Hardey says:

    doh. 'Burning' not 'buring' of course.

  3. Dr Mariann Hardey says:

    If it wasn't for such shrewdness as yours, one might never be plunged into the heady excitement of charmed wit and reflection.

    To this end, I find it's always good to have a candle that burns all night so as to capture those most random of thoughts, just before the dawn. Then one can look through new eyes upon those things and with it throw oneself into creative passion. Or simply laugh at the flapdoodle of it all – whilst not buring the cottage down of course.

  4. Rob says:

    I am suitably chastened by your response.

  5. Dr Mariann Hardey says:

    Furniture incidence/s aside, perhaps one can be so (self-proclaimed) accident/damage prone due to a propensity to drift self-seekingly (and perhaps a little too wistfully) into the dramatic turbulence of some irrecoverable meeting of minds.

    Just goes to show how shifting the furniture really stands as change to the order of the universe. And you thought Pickfords were just 'careful movers'.

  6. Rob says:

    You are a terribly astute young lady.

    Aforementioned accidents are to be feared. Furniture moving is a fraught business… even if the chances are carpet burns are high – and this isn't necessarily a bad thing – there are plenty of other opportunities to damage something.

  7. Dr Mariann Hardey says:

    @Rob, re. furniture removal, 'It takes two to make an accident'.

  8. Rob says:

    I should clearly be volunteering to help people shift more furniture.

  9. Dr Mariann Hardey says:

    @Rob, said carpet burns are in fact quite easy to come by. Something about an incidence involving an (unnecessary in my view) move of a leather sofa, not enough 'grip' or handy men to hand to help shift the load.

    I could make up something inconsequential and more befitting of a Mills&Boon, but then I'd be extenuating the 'social facts'. And that simply wouldn't be 'proper etiquette' would it?…

  10. Rob says:

    I didn't know that, but being a dull and staid sort I don't think I've ever had a carpet burn.

    I feel as though life is passing me by.

  11. Dr Mariann Hardey says:

    @Rob, I find that there's a better synergy with the 'stupid one's'. Tweed is the need. Needs to be decent quality – as it CAN make you come out in a rash though. Harsher than a carpet burn don't you know.

  12. Rob says:

    I suspect that wearing tweed can lead to a marked reduction in the wearer's IQ.

  13. Dr Mariann Hardey says:

    @office girls, ps i think MrNM was referring to the previous post to this one. Shakespeare is mentioned there. It all makes sense.

  14. Dr Mariann Hardey says:

    @Officegirls yes,

    Boozy mincepies…

    500g currants
    500g muscatel or Californian raisins
    (or a mixture)
    500g sultanas
    500g Bramley apples , peeled,
    cored and chopped fairly small
    2x250g boxes shredded beef suet
    100g whole blanched almonds ,
    coarsely chopped
    350g natural demerara sugar
    100g dark muscovado sugar
    1 rounded tsp ground cinnamon
    2 rounded tsp groud mixed spice
    1 large, juicy lemon
    250g whole mixed peel , chopped
    into small dice
    125ml dark rum
    125ml Disaronno Originale liqueur
    175ml French brandy

    And now for the faff…

    1. Wash the dried fruit thoroughly in a colander under the cold tap
    (you may find it easier to do this in batches) – whatever it says
    on the packet, washing the fruit is something I've (Ruth Watson)
    always done. Tip the fruit on to clean tea towels and dry by
    patting in the cloths.

    2. Put the dried fruit in a very large bowl with the apples, suet,
    almonds, sugars and spices. Grate the zest of the lemon into the
    bowl, then squeeze in the juice. Tip in the peel and the alcohol.

    3. Mix all the ingredients very thoroughly – it's easiest to do this
    with your (very clean) hands.

    4.Cover and leave to stand for 24 hours, asking the family to stop
    and give it a good stir with a spoon when they pass by.

    5. Pack the mincemeat into sterilised or dishwasher-clean jars
    (Kilner jars are ideal) and top with greaseproof paper jam covers.
    Seal the jars tightly and store in a cool place. The mincemeat will
    last from one year to the next, but's best used within 6 months.

    6. EAT, enjoy. Merry xmas

  15. Dr Mariann Hardey says:

    @Nickmcger, We've had this conversation. Countless times. We can't all be smug marrieds dont you know. 'HE' is out there. In tweed.


  16. Office girls says:

    can we have the mince pie recipe?

    ps what shakespeare?

  17. nickmcger says:

    oh doc hardy, you sound like a vulnerable heart what with shakespeare and all that.

    Maybe time to let down your barriers and let someone in?

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