Proper Facebook Etiquette

#599 …has Facebook hijacked Christmas too?

Friday 11th December, 2009

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Dear Mariann,
Are Christmas cards really over. I have plenty of Christmas posts to my Facebook page, but none have hit my doormat. But Girlfriend insists that I am a bore and this is the real reason that no-one is sending through the post. So is it really me, or has Facebook hijacked Christmas too?
(From Mr Tips, via email)

Oh seasons greetings. Nothing is quite so splendid as the delightful swish and plop to the doormat as Mr/Ms Postie stuffs envelope, upon envelope through letter boxes. Then a merry ‘Ho, ho, ho!’ as they crunch up the footpath, post sack on the back, whilst casting a cheery wave to the little old dears and curtain twitcher’s in no.3. Merry Christmas indeed.

What’s really going on are short, dark, freezing days as Mr/Ms Postie cling onto their jobs and Santa Little Helper’s claim for tax allowances that they are not going to get and then threaten not to wrap little jimmies present/s this year. No wonder your friends are turning to the warmth of Facebook to send seasonal greetings. Easier than remember to buy a stamp, non?

Like gift giving, there are numerous motives for sending a card. These usually involve some kind of emotional blackmail, or to make up for not being ‘there’ at the last ten anniversary occasions. Guilt, guilt, guilt. Then, some sentimental, touching and witty flourish of words usually follow, and then these sit atop mantelpieces, and are pinned to pin boards for a good few weeks as we allay ourselves that ‘yes, we are ‘popular and ‘no, friends do not think that ‘we are a bore. Seemingly, in your case, your girlfriend may have hit upon something here.

Why not, NOT (opps is that a double negative? Curses) be the bore or Christmas Grinch and, instead, take the initiative and send your own quality Christmas message via the mail. You’ll be keeping Postie’s employed, various elves happy and ensuring the crunch, crunch, crunch of heavy tread upon frosted paths to delight your friends, not to mention the various Neighbourhood Watch teams across the land.

Otherwise ‘allow access’ to your Facebook Account the most fashionable/charitable Christmas application. Look for the words ‘orphans’, ‘celebrity Christmas’, ‘Santa snow fun’, or the ‘XFactor Christmas’ for particularly ‘tasteful’ contributions. You might also appreciate the animated works of the Rocking Christmas Tree application. This will post a Christmas Tree to your Profile Page and accompany it with song. Tra-la-la-la-la! Now who’s the bore, Ms Girlfriend?!

This year, I’m going to stick my charming face to books I’ve already read and am bored with. That way I’ve created my own Face-book that can double as a Christmasy greeting. Merriness indeed. Ho, ho, ho!

2 Responses to “#599 …has Facebook hijacked Christmas too?”

  1. Anonymous says:

    Christmas leaves me cold because office party syndrome that means people I don't like but have to be with will stick photos of us having a good time – which we are not. Only hope is that Mr Gropper gets a shot of himself in action.

  2. Santa says:

    I saw on Facebook what my husband had got me for Christmas. No surprise for me – Thanks to Facebook !!!!

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