Proper Facebook Etiquette

#496 I saw on Facebook what my husband had got me for Christmas

Monday 14th December, 2009

Dear Mariann,
I saw on Facebook what my husband had got me for Christmas. No surprise for me – Thanks to Facebook !!!!
(From Santa in reply to the post ‘…has Facebook hijacked Christmas too?’)

Ms Claus, I am touched that you see fit to read the blog. Merry tidings to you and your rotund partner.

Nothing is more beguiling than all ruination of a surprise because of some careless update or other. Once, when I was in attendance at some formal dinner this was alongside a new acquaintance who thought that he was of some measure (or other, more suited to the 125ml variety – as it turns out), and my whole evening was ruined when he saw fit to let one (ripe) one rip every other minute. How does this relate to your lack of surprise in the gift department? Well this is an example of when it is advantageous to one and all to keep things in, rather to paraap! and noisily broadcast all things in public. Both your husband and my paraaping ‘gentleman’ would do well to learn that when you carelessly broadcast too much, you may (unintentionally) impose discomfort upon others in the immediate vicinity. *sniff*

Now that you know what you are going to get. Why don’t you make demands of Mr Claus of the like, ‘Let me open this now, or it’s just you and elves on Christmas Eve’. Or better still, purchase exactly what he has got you, wrap it and watch (quelle surprise) as yours is an elaborate game of SNAP(!) come the Christmas Day present exchange. IF Mr Claus has seen fit to find something delectable and lovely, then you shall have two. However, if instead he has wrapped some satsuma and carrots in paper you may want to rethink the level of your material and consumer related expression/s.

Could it be that Mr Claus is more cunning than you give credit and has updated on Facebook what it is that you are supposed to receive, when in fact he something else entirely different for the big reveal?

To return to my paraaping ‘friend’, months later this came up at a mutual friends dinner party, when others in attendance commented that it was an indication of one’s stature to be able to paraap on demand. This tells you a lot about those kind of people who see fit to adhere to the adage ‘better out than in’. For the cultivation of surprise: the giver should be able to keep contained everything until the perfect moment. Then ‘tada! when the receiver is least expecting it. Now that I think about it, there’s more synergy with the ‘better out than in’ than I had anticipated.

2 Responses to “#496 I saw on Facebook what my husband had got me for Christmas”

  1. Office Chicks says:

    A big happy Christmas from the office girls and a thank you for the advice

  2. Mark says:

    Now Mark Zuckerberg has changed his privacy settings should we be friends or just take a look at what he is up too?

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