Proper Facebook Etiquette

#500 What’s new for 2010?

Friday 1st January, 2010

Dear Mariann,

Looking back on 2009, what’s more de-rigeur, to have the most, or least friends on Facebook? What’s new for 2010?

(From YorkMinsterMister via email and Christmas correspondence in the form of some card, or other…)
Flying in the Face(book) of a new decade, the size of your personal friend networks has nothing to do with whether you actually like themand everything to do with how ‘interesting’ their various life activities. Think of this akin to the increase in the size of one’s lingerie (and one might add decrease in content), when one journey’s from the first signs of attraction to full-on ‘comfortable’ relationship fruition. Usually one’s smalls begin as those inviting, perfectly formed and dare I say risque proportions. Then, upon getting acquainted, such diminutive apportionment is no longer required. Those happy days of allurement – more suitable to the demands of a friend-farmed network on Facebook (you know who you are, requesting without so much as a FRIEND/ly ‘hello and without content or context of a suitable introduction. Oh, so we sat next to one another in First Year maths circa 1990-something. How last century) are now no longer required, as I’ve already hit 5,000.
This is why M&S (and Victoria Secrets for you USA reader’s) make money from BIG Bridget Jone’s Spanx and why a careful Friend Cull is required at the turn of each decade least the masses overcome the quality of your NewsFeed and begin to reach up to your armpits.
Like I said, precisely like the amassment in size from petite lingerie to BIG Spanx in steady relationship terms; from quality underwear’s to quantifiable overworn’s. Who knew Facebook would be so revealing.

Apologies if I deleted Your Friend Request. I received 60 today – must be the turn of decade or something…

One Response to “#500 What’s new for 2010?”

  1. Anonymous says:

    haha! :) Love your blog – just found after googling

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