Proper Facebook Etiquette

#603 how much money does Facebook owe me?…

Friday 15th January, 2010

Dear Mariann,
Time is money as my boss says. So how much money does Facebook owe me with all the time I spend trying to keep up to date with friends?
From Mrs PT via email (received with thanks additional Tweets)

Far be it for me to knock a enthusiastic and silver lined thought out of your head, but expecting any £/$’s or otherwise from the Zuckerberg empire may be a little too optimistic on your part. I could go as far to state that it is you, who are in the wrong here. Logging on as you do, I would predict that your Facebook deficit must run into the plenty-o’s and would require more than the sinking of one Icelandic bank. I recommend acting as we all do. Remove from your head any thoughts of profiteering and instead play the ‘normal’ worker role. Time IS money. So you should be working on your boss’s time. The requirement is; copious cups of tea, spend an hour or so just looking at friends on Facebook, call that friend from ages ago when you know their phone is ‘off’, leave a message, don’t call back, log back into Facebook, message everyone about wanting to catch up, spend the next hour reading through all the catch-up messages, answer you phone to that other friend with ‘I’ll call you right back, I’m very busy and important right not’, don’t call back, log back into Facebook, poke them, poke everyone, log off, remember that you forgot to check what so-and-so was up to, log back on, wait until the boss leaves the office, see if they are on Facebook, log-out, go home, log back in again, faff around for a bit, go to bed, return to the office just in time to reply to that invite for a reunion event, eat your lunch tied to your desk (looks more productive, even if you’re online shopping). Should you run the risk of doing some proper work, quote your boss your hourly rate: Number of hours on Facebook + number of hours taken thinking up witty replies + number of friends / number of third party applications.

The above should leave neither of you in the dark as to whose time is money for whom.

3 Responses to “#603 how much money does Facebook owe me?…”

  1. Cedrick says:

    My friend said my cat is a gay – is this bullying ?

  2. Anonymous says:

    Social networks are traps for the naive. A guy in my firm posted pics os himself and a co-worker having a good time – when they were supposed to be attending a conference. The boss saw them. They got into trouble. A lesson here.

  3. Dave says:

    I am part of a careers team at a Uni. I've read that more than half employers research potential job candidates on social networks such as Facebook. if this is true should we be telling students to change or hide their SNS activities – but some say that to hide details on Facebook is taken as an indication there is something to err hide.

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