Proper Facebook Etiquette

#606 Is it love?

Monday 22nd February, 2010

#235 Dear Mariann,
I am young, devilishly handsome, house-trained and with a wardrobe of excellent fashion.  However, I seem unable to hold down a proper relationship. My friend mocked me when I updated my Facebook status to ‘single and still looking’ and one friend hacked into my account to change my relationship information to ‘married’.  This has had a damaging effect on my network as I was in cahoots with a lovely chap (who IS married) and was hoping to hook up with him. He has now been put off by my status.  How do I earn his trust again, as it appears that I have been mucking him about. And what advice would  you have to hold onto this guy for more than ten minutes?

(From RWood via email and IM. Recieved with amusement and thanks)

Clearly there is nothing wrong with  your ego. You seem perfectly at ease with your coming of immediacy into the relationship sphere. The problem seems to be (and do excuse me for being so blunt) that once your potential love interest has got to know you and your ‘fashion wardrobe’ they are already entirely bored.  Or by then you’ve gone and blown it all by mucking around with your Status.  IF ‘all you want’ is a long-term relationship, then why are you dilly dallying around with your Facebook Profile and telling all in-sundry that you ‘single and still looking’ smacks of ‘I can’t be bothered with internet dating, but I am just that little bit desperate. OR this just poses you as a mass of cliche’s, downing a bottle of claret on a Friday night and weeping into the keyboard, ‘Why me? Why me?’as you frequently press refresh hopnig for new notifications to come your way. I suggest a departure from this tract.

Why you? because you have put yourself into this situation.  (btw) Thank you for your lengthy messages as to the (graphic) in’s and out’s of your relationship attempts with this new chap, but IF you ARE thinking long-term wouldn’t someone (quotes) ‘less complicated’ (not married) be better material?  As you have decided that he is your One, then I suggest a cooling off period.  Just last week Facebook launched Facebook Credits a delightful scheme to get you to pay $1 for 100 credits to allow you purchase all manner of pretty things, whether they be Facebook Gift or a reward for a particularly ‘good’ Status Update. If you were so inclined, I can imagine how you could cobble some of these together and send them over to Him as a romantic gesture of your real intentions.  He may, if you’re lucky, reciprocate in turn with a suitable Facebook Gift and then you can enjoy a real Facebook romance together. Is it love? No, it’s a fluffy toy bought with Facebook credits. Who says romance is dead?

Sorry, you may get the impression from the above that I am making fun of your situation. But there is a degree of self-obsessed stomach churning narcissism from you that invites such a response.  No other proper relationships? Are you too clingy? Too dingy? Too much time on Facebook? Then again, its a rare thing to be so overly confident and self-assured of one’s persona, so throw yourself out into that ‘fashion wardrobe’ of yours and come out, out into the world (more Out than you already are). You’ve nothing to lose after all. And you may even save on those Facebook credits.

3 Responses to “#606 Is it love?”

  1. NoName says:

    A classmate is posing as a girl on Facebook. He is getting guys to chat him up and send him photos and things. I think he needs to be exposed but he says it is a big joke and he will put the posts some jocks in school have sent him on the student boards.

  2. mave says:

    Why email. My request is for a simple 5 do not do this rules which we could easily find on here.

  3. JayJay says:

    Bit of an issue for you. My sister’s school (she is 10) has a school Facebook group set up by a PE teacher. Kids are encouraged to join in. School sports events are put up and so on. I use facebook at Uni but now find I have to be careful about what mates post as my kid sister is on there. Do you think the school should be using facebook like this? It has a web page.

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