Proper Facebook Etiquette

#239 More than beans, taking tea with toast

Friday 5th March, 2010

Dear Mariann,

Do you take toast with your tea? Or tea with your toast? It’s a dilemma that has had my friends and I fixated on our Facebook status for days now.

(From teawithtoast in reply to the post #238 Clubbing on Facebook)

You bring up an important and worthy dilemma, worthy of my attentions and tea time.

I abhore all manner of convenience foods.  But this does not mean that I am not partial to some supplementary flavours (as per a MasterChef) of the Baked Beans on toast variety.  While, I would never be so vulger as to update My status with ‘tea n toast’, I would, in the time it takes to update one’s status concoct the most sumptuous toasted tea that you would be honored to have your taste buds set on fire with.I shall bring you this recipe at the end of this particular etiquette posting.

For now, I see you anticipation of such updates as a rather unsuccessful subject of speculation. ‘Instant’ (yuk) requires a true test of quality. Whether this be status or tea time. I recall a number of years ago that Heinz were to launch the INSTANT baked beans on toast, from a frozen sandwich infused with their particular bean related delight, this goes into the toaster and, ta da!, beans on toast. Errr. Testing was in New Zealand. And clearly the whooly criters had got the better of the Heinz’s R&D department, as to my knowledge there is no such equivalent worldwide product. Thank goodness for sheep.

At such convenience you have to interject with ‘What ARE you doing?!’ Which is quite suitable a question for a Facebook status debate.  So how do I like my tea and toast. Well one memorable quote springs to mind: Usually with a cup of hot water and a tea bag ol chap.

What I am suggesting dear reader is that there is no meaningful distinction to be made via a Status Update. For in the time to update such friviolities one could be much better employed with registering the precise timing it takes for another tea time break, the PopTart, to go from cold/dry to warm/wet to (too) HOT/sticky.

But I share no affinity with a PopTart. I am more a beans madam. Which brings me onto the perfect beans on toast. Just to clarify, the Heinz brand I make reference to is the baked beans in the blue tin that ‘We’ (royal) enjoy in the UK. NOT those sugary/salted tins that one comes across in America.

Note that this recipe is skilfully crafted and after many years of taste tests, I have subjected the ingredients to a rigorous regime of creative in and out puts. Mostly involving the INto my mouth and OUT… Well, that other end.

For this recipe execution, your kitchen hands will require the following:

1 tin of (UK) Heinz baked beans. Lets not jibber jabber here. These are the original and best.
2 tbsp chopped fresh basil and fresh chilli
3 sun-dried tomatoes

4 slices sourdough bread for homemade bruschetta

5 drop of extra virgin olive oil infused with chilli for a last moment drizzle

And, finally, some more chillis

use a pan (NEVER microwave) to bring the beans to a suitably warm (NEVER boiling) temperature. Heat a grill pan until hot, brush the slices of sourdough with a little olive oil and grill until well toasted on each side. And you thought I was going to use a toaster. Well really.

If you like your heat (which I do) add a chilli (whole or chopped, entirely down to personal taste) to the beans. Meanwhilst, mix your chopped basil with some of the extra virgin oil. Add pepper (I’m not a ‘fan’ of added salt) and taste for seasoning. Adjust if necessary. I usually add some dried chilli’s here.

Turn down the beans and spoon onto the grilled bruschetta. Serve with the chopped basil, sun-dried tomatoes placed delicately on top and an extra drizzle of chilli oil.

Back to the author of the dilemma, teawithtoast, if this was a blatant attempt to get me sidelined from proper etiquette thinking, then I say to you this; give us more ways to use your toast! for we have yet to run out of ideas! And now it is I who remain glued to your status updates…

7 Responses to “#239 More than beans, taking tea with toast”

  1. ERIC says:

    Up and coming Olympics in London – what do you think they will bring to Facebook?

  2. marjoy says:

    I have met someone. We are in love. His parents are friends on facebook, but do not yet know of our relationship. There is a considerable age gap. Should we tell the olds over facebook or keep it to ourselves?…

  3. Frog says:

    Can frogs be experimented with on facebook?

  4. ohhhh says:

    I find that bbs and red hair go well….

  5. penny says:

    I like ribbons and baked beans

  6. henry says:

    Beans with tuna is best

  7. Branston says:

    Couldn’t help but notice your promotion of Heinz. Have you tried Branston? I think that these beans are good for Facebook.

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