Proper Facebook Etiquette

#860 Hung-man syndrome

Monday 10th May, 2010

Dear Mariann,

Could you please help to solve a recent and rather perplexing dilemma? It appears that I have been found to be ‘well-hung’ by friends and this has become a sort of joke.  I had thought that such a situation would have a positive effect, but over the weekend it has erupted into a rather complex affair.  I am aware that in light of my recent status being ‘its complicated’, that friends are making all kinds of moves behind my back. In addition, over the weekend there have been new Facebook friend requests, which is a problem, as my profile clearly states that, whilst being complicate, I am the man.  I do not want to accept any friend request willy nilly and, as I am sure that you would advise, do not want to remove my potential status as it may put off any potential connections who won’t know for sure that I am open to openings.  It is all very complicated.  So should I just accept every friend request and prospective proposition as it comes along, as the more friends on Facebook the better? I am worried, however, that because I seem well-hung that some will just think me arrogant and devoid of anything worthwhile. What would you recommend?

(From a (by his own words ‘well-hung’) Mr B, via (a quite charming, if stressed, email)

I have a friend who was once held in quite high regard. He was an intellectual, but was also short with it. To compensate he tried all manner of statutes; including one sorry party he attended where he refused drinks or words with anyone who he deemed ‘below his criteria’ (or gaze as it turned out).  To this end he missed the after-party poolside and liaison with a group of Scandinavian lovelies quite enamored by his stunted potential. I think on balance they were initially keen to draw him out of himself, but then decided that he was not playing an all mysterious and hard to get game, but was instead arrogant and too short-sighted to be open to any new discoveries and/or offers. And thus he missed the hot tub.

For you Mister (well-hung) B, bearing in mind that you are not plotting world domination (just yet), I would retaliate to any friendship dealings and requests as you would any new relationship; you could pre-empt their reforming action/s and send to the main protagonist an anonymous message of your ‘open’ status. However, I would suggest that surely a more secure route to defend your revival from well-hung to a more liberated agenda would be to deliver such sentiments in person.

Of course you could always take a vote on it. What do your polls tell you?

One Response to “#860 Hung-man syndrome”

  1. Ranty says:

    I have been reading the buzz about Facebook and privacy. Should I deactivate – although this seem very difficult. Is Facebook evil in that it has loads of info on us and we can’t get out of it or say how it might use it? Should we really have to constantly monitor privacy settings and just how complicated is this. Thats my rant!

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