Proper Facebook Etiquette

#871 under the influence

Saturday 3rd July, 2010

Dear Mariann,
Under the influence of alcohol I insulted and then proposed to my boyfriend- now fiancé- via Facebook. Instead of seeing the error of my ways he accepted. Now I am to be married. I was simply having moment of romantic passion and, as you can imagine, didn’t really think that he would say yes. I have contemplated moving, and then things were made worse when I did not remember the original incident and had to play along. I haven’t told anyone else-apart from my BFF, but my fiancé is keen to make our happy announcement via Facebook. My friend has advised me not to promise to do anything. I think that she has an alternate motive though as she used to date my fiancé, and he was a bit obsessed with marriage, and babies with her too. What to do?

From Amanda via email.

Here’s where you went wrong, quotes: Under the influence of alcohol. In a similar vain many (full) moons ago, and at the end of a long evening debate about culture, art and literature, I insulted a couple of guests at a dinner party. I knew, despite their protestations, that they had recently returned from a (in their words) ‘piss up trip to Magalouf’ – a far cry from the snobbish culture vulture’s they were making themselves out to be. Add to this Her role as a ‘masseuse’ and His role as an ‘entertainer’ and you see where the scale of the evening was rapidly heading. My observation of their four-day pissed up marathon was not met with amused entertainment, rather complete denial. Until I took things to THAT level…

…Yes, I’m not proud, but I logged into Facebook and low! behold! a long series of Facebook pictures. Two albums worth no less. Their’s like yours was simply moments of romantic passion. They also wanted immediately to take any such overtones back. Easy to do? Delete the offending material. That is one solution. You are, however, still left with the unholy mess of said fiancé.

Well no wonder that you are so distraught. Any man who takes a proposal via Facebook as a green light for a life time of commitment is quite frankly worthy of a defriend, an ‘its complicated’ or better yet ‘single’ relationship status and complete denial of knowledge of aforementioned individual. On the otherside, any woman who proposes via Facebook has to a little unhinged. Not least as your taste in men seems less than dubious, quotes,

My friend has advised me not to promise to do anything. I think that she has an alternate motive though as she used to date my fiancé and he was a bit obsessed with marriage and babies with her too.

Being obsessed with marriage and babies is not what it might be. Instead of a happy ending, this  rather suggests that something is missing. Perhaps a puppy would help aid things. You could also attempt to retrieve the situation through a strategic retreat and an outrageous sojourn somewhere.

I hear Magalouf is rather good. I’ve got some friends who have been. I’ll put you in touch.

Do let us know how you go. A good Facebook update should do it.

6 Responses to “#871 under the influence”

  1. Dot says:

    do two wrongs make a right?

  2. Henry says:

    Tuna status update

  3. Jenny says:

    Is it ever right to become engaged on Facebook?

  4. Ms Kennedy, K.C. says:

    Dear Mariann, we met about a year ago – you were wearing striking Chanel red – at that time you were kind enough to give a impromptu presentation to an eager audience. Could you be persuaded to return? I think that you’ll find that there is an ever increasing group eager for your wisdom and rigorous checking of our Facebook Profiles.

  5. Wren says:

    I get up to all sorts of no good when I’m away from home. One persona is that I’m cute and carefree. My other is more fetish. Which one should dominate on Facebook?

  6. SuzieQ says:

    Doc Hardey, I’m a stripper – my family don’t know – I met my boyfriend through mutual friends when I was performing. NOW he has decided he doesn’t want me dancing or performing (except for him). Over the weekend I saw that he posted something to my brothers Wall that mentioned my stripping. My parents read his page! Can you help a girl out?

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