Proper Facebook Etiquette

#872 never marry Facebook

Tuesday 6th July, 2010

Dear Mariann,
Is it ever right to become engaged on Facebook?
From Jenny in reply to post #271 Under the influence

One week ago if you had me this question, I would categorically have said a grand sweeping ‘No’. Since then, there has been a rather closely involved incident of engagement fanfare that has trumpeted from one side of the equator and slipped around into the other – which has all been rather charmingly sweet. She proposed to him since you ask. And no this wasn’t a case of too much sangria or cheap le plonk one evening. It was a carefully and cheerfully coordinated courtship that went from a Friend Request on Monday to full blown proposal on Friday.

Like most things in life, I prefer my Tête à Tête’s to be live. Jenny I must confess, when I first read your dilemma – squeezed between something about adorable my kitten wrote about ‘tuna’ (he’s quite adept with a keyboard it seems- or at least someone in my family is) and another’s cry about ‘Chanel’ with reference to a little gathering or other – I had read that you wanted to get engaged TO Facebook.  This seems like a much more meatier topic which could involve all matter of inclusionary / exclusive social tight-rope-walking; between the ‘who’s in’ and ‘who’s out’ crowds of choice. It could indicate some perverse technological sexual deviancy. Equally it could also note a Mr Zuckerberg admiration tendency. Both make me nauseate – thank you Google ‘images’.

Jenny for the full authority of happiness and happy endings, I turn to my inner circle of friends those smug-marrieds. This state of play hasn’t found appeal to my own situation (yet) and I can reveal that they like my week-ago-old self have all stated a loud NO! to any kind of, quotes, ‘proper and grown-up proposal‘.  One smug-married friend, Anna, was so ardent in her assessment that her ‘NO!’ was also punctuated by a fist punch to the air, a menacing step forward and the suggestion (rather harshly put I thought) of a book about ‘The effect of romance and married aspirations with life on Facebook’. Which ‘YOU could write couldn’t you’, she rather incredulously concluded. Err, yes. I’ll talk to my publisher immediately.

I can, Jenny, answer your question in one fail swoop: Never make a drunk proposal, or marry a man on Facebook; because you’ll end up back where you started, with a bottle in one hand and staring at a blank monitor.

2 Responses to “#872 never marry Facebook”

  1. Anonymous says:

    Just dumped my BF by making me status single and up for it

  2. Stinky says:

    No one thinks about smells, Odd as perfume costs loads. I’d like to see updates that say it is Marc Jacobs Lola tonight.

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