Proper Facebook Etiquette

#874 a charmed affair

Tuesday 13th July, 2010

Dear Mariann,

I am off on my hols. It was going to be a charmed affair with another couple. About two years ago there was an incident involving my other half. We have now all got over this – or so I had thought – until I saw a revolting Wall post from my husband on my friends wall that was flirtatious and graphic. Should I make a noise before we hit the road or wait for the inevitable fallout when I can observe their treachery beneath my sunhat and Margarita.

From Eta via letter. Yes, a hand-written letter.

Eta, it is always a good to have an idea of others intent and then to set yourself accordingly. I do not know whether to admire your partners full-fronted display of disloyalty or jaw-drop at his stupidity that he thought he could ‘get away with it’.  As there are no (I assume) pesky kids with which to catch him red-handed I would lay low and conduct a thorough social-engagement analysis of all yours (and his) Facebook extra-curricula activities.  Begin to tot up precisely how much time he is spending otherwise engaged and set this against how much you consider is worthwhile to spend in his company. The more the former goes up, so the latter decreases. Do not forget to include her shilly-shallying. Into these complex calculations you must then factor in your own ‘personal attachment’. If I were you this would have waned that first time around two years ago.  Although it all rather depends on the kind of person and emotively charged presence you are.

If the above sounds a bit dry and drawn out – and it does to me – I’d say go, kick up a storm. Plot beneath your parasol. Down those margaritas and leave them to it with explicit footage broadcast straight to Facebook. Well, you wouldn’t want the rest of your network to miss out… Plus this has the added bonus of revealing him and her to the backstabbing sh*t*s that they are.

Thus, you will find that your friends come to your rescue. Make sure to send Him n Her your bill for room service etc. with a humorous wallpost remarking that you do not really expecting them to pay, as that’s the kind of cold callous waste of space people they have revealed themselves to be.  Sit back. Watch as all hell breaks loose.

Oh, and update your relationship status to ‘single’. Just sayin.

Incidentally I’m off on my hols too.  Normal service shall return after the 26th July. Don’t do anything without me.

One Response to “#874 a charmed affair”

  1. Steve says:

    how do i avoid bad posts on my Wall?

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