Proper Facebook Etiquette

#879 No Name Getting Nothin’

Monday 9th August, 2010

Dear Mariann
Saturday night boyfriend an hour late foe the date. Play with new Mac phone and decide to update Facebook. There he is with his status single and…can’t believe it! Have I been dumped? After two hours , calls, and more no communication. Bastard. Thought you shoul know
From No Name in reply to post #277 Getting Tired

I’m just charmed that you thought I ‘should know’. Consider me informed and up to the moment with your heady love life. Of course you MUST warn the rest of your network. Many will feel uncomfortable without the proficien and potential t  company of a ‘B*st*rd’.  Consider how many times friends have gone running back into the arms of such a ruffian. No Name, you will rise above this betrayal. Aside from your spelling, which is atrocious btw – although, as is mine – I’m sure that you are just the most lovely person who does not deserve to be jerked about via status updates and all that jazz.
It is unlikely that the B*st*rd realised that you were as assertive and observant as you appear. He probably thought that he was being the King of Cunning what with a swift status update to ‘single’ and then on his way out to whatever remained of his Saturday night without you.  Well, what are you worrying about? You are better off without his charmless charm.  I think that yours (and others) real anxiety is that, secretly – deep, deep, deep down – you still want him to be poking you.
I suggest that you defriend immediately.  He is not sophisticated enough. And I do not approve.

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