Proper Facebook Etiquette

#891 blundering herd NY

Friday 8th October, 2010

Dear Mariann,

This is a true story. A friend of mine, went to London, there she had all kinds of fun with a ‘nice chap’ who had just moved over from New York. Soon after their meeting they romantically acquired each other and were both invited to the same party.  One went (there is Facebook evidence), the other was never seen again… Was the ‘nice chap’ a figment of my friends Facebook imagination?…

From Canon and Gate via a quite revealing email.

C&G, anything that begins with ‘this is a true story’ is usually stranger than fiction. I’m not saying you’re all poppy-cock, but it would be unwise to trust everything you read. Mistrust aside, the thrust of your dilemma is misanthropic, like a case of missing pantaloons you appear to want to reign in your ‘friend’ and her own attachment to this ‘nice chap’ from New York.  Has she tried hunting him down on Facebook, and/or updating her scope of searching – ideally logging in with one of her friends accounts so that she can see whether he is hidden from her. Obviously the ‘ethics’ surrounding this are less than honorable, but then so are the actions of a man who is ‘acquired’ for ‘romantic’ purposes and disappears in a puff of his own New York smoke.

If there is one thing that the blundering herd has taught us, it is that you can follow and be followed in-real-life and (da-da-dar!) on the web.  For nearly a decade (eons in internet years) we have delighted in the arrangement of social networks. Things have moved on from the MySpace (not your space) generation, but clearly some chaps still operate on a level where their trousers get closer to the person, than their social network. Doubtless after an infinite period of Google and Facebook searches, your friend can return to you (bereft) and furrowed-browed after many sleepless futile attempts to track down this New York chap. If there’s one thing that New Yorker’s are good at, and Americans in general, it’s finding just the right moment to bail out.  Then after days of personal reconstruction after she has picked up her heart off of the floor they – the American – turns up heart stoppingly handsome and quite resplendent in a tight pair of trousers.

Encourage your friend to show some resistance, then neatly rebuff any ‘what to do’ queries with a round of martinis and inspired remarks: Laugh and get tipsy.  That’s the British way to handle these kinds of disappearing American things.

Oh, and don’t book a flight to New York, you can bet your bottom dollar he wasn’t from the Mad Smoke anyway.

3 Responses to “#891 blundering herd NY”

  1. Jackie says:

    My boyfriend was “married” on Facebook before we met. They met on Fbook. He is always flirting with her so he practically had an online relationship with her. He writes “babe” “love” all these affectionate terms. He also lied about other girls that he “never liked”. When this one girl kept texting him saying hey babe and stuff (a girl we both made fun of cuz we thought she was pathetic). I don’t know if he is just not into me or has lots of girls all at the same time. Should I make a big thing on Fbook and dump hid arse?

  2. thinking says:

    whats the worst thing to happen to you?

  3. Henry says:

    Is matespace much better than old facebook???

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