Proper Facebook Etiquette

#892 A password shared is a…

Monday 25th October, 2010

Dear Mariann,

My long-time, long-term boyfriend has admitted that they have ‘made mistakes’ with their access and settings on Facebook. Long story short, he let an old girlfriend have his user-name and password.  That’s not OK is it?

From Georgia via Twitter. Thanks.

Georgia, even going back 100 years, if your partner still let his ex-girlfriend have access to his mail would you stand for that? Let’s go back several 1000 years; what if his ex-girlfriend had access to his cave and fire to make smoke signals whilst he was out? Still OK? Even a hairy mammoth wouldn’t stand for that. As George Bernard Shaw once said, ‘The greatest problem with communication is the illusion that it has been accomplished’.  Ratchet that one up a few notches in your case – there is no ‘illusion’, and as for ‘accomplishment’, well I cannot begin to imagine where, when and/or how the justification would ever be that you allow anyone – let alone an ‘ex’ – to have access to your Facebook account.

There is nothing more to be done. I advise a STOP! to such silliness immediately.  You cannot be expected as ‘the current girlfriend’ to go on as if everything is OK.  Your partner has managed to create a particular electric atmosphere for all the wrong reasons.  Not to mention made himself appear as perfectly stupid with a security breach as wide open as Google’s own recent admissions of ‘letting go’ of data.

Much depends on your reaction to this state of affairs. And, when you’ve made up your mind and its over,  the audience will applaud and cheer and rise to their feet for a standing ovation.  I recommend if He is as careless as you mention that you could allow others the same access to his details as he seems willing to give away.  I am by no means encouraging you to relay his private details any which way, but merely to extend his courtesy of letting loose his circumstantials to ALL his friends.

I am beginning to reflect that no aspect of modern-day culture is as badly served by its users as Facebook. Many of the supposed ‘friends’ who loiter on the periphery of networks, poking, posting and exchanging pirate dress here and there are simply a noisey, joyless and detached bunch you wouldn’t want to share a Tesco queue with, let alone a friend network. Where are those REAL friends of old who are witty, intelligent, current, have passion and – most important – ARE entertaining?  So I say no! to ghosts of relationship past and no, No, NO! to handing out your user-name and password!

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