Proper Facebook Etiquette

#893 constant objection

Thursday 28th October, 2010

Dear Mariann,

Do I worry that my parents take constant objection, because they think that I am too rude? Do they have a right to their view? This all began when I announced my engagement through Facebook.  Mother is now refusing to talk to me, but is leading my Fiancé‘ a merry dance, as he is ‘not good enough’.  How much longer do I have to put up with this?

From Keetery via email and a novel. Received with delight and thanks.

In these, our modern times, we have observed that there is no less ‘species of greatness’ than that of the Mother of the Bride-to-be.  This arises from the artificial tones of generally uniform succession that comes from ‘mother knows best’.  As regard to your engagement announcement, She may have a point here. I’m not saying it was entirely crass Facebook-ing such an announcement, but what the eye reads, as type-script via a Facebook posting in this instance, the other more loving parts become less receptive as you have failed to deliver with any gusto (or delight) any joy in your news.  IF the announcement be repeated pretty soon after with a ‘proper’ invitation, I have it on good authority that most mothers are more easily swayed to then ease their tension, as this repetition fits with the more traditional expectation regarding mothers, and mothers of brides especially.

You can observe the above in the behaviour of many other mammals, who, when they prepare for any such uniting event do rouse themsevles – on hind legs, ears pricked to attention and eyes glinting with dazzling affect – so that they are most receptive to any new auxiliary and so as  to ascertain the exact timing of their ‘moment’ so that they might purchase the perfect hat. Consider your actions as a swinging of the pendulum, oscillating from right to wrong in a long arch and under the effect of any mothers nay reaction.  One solution is to defriend Mother, but this would only push you into another round of who’s right, who’s wrong and general upset. Plus I wouldn’t trust that there wouldn’t be another occasion of around the back network poking.  Think of things this way, would you rather know of Mother’s objections, or have her stating the same claims behind your back.  To say a great deal in this instance is, therefore, directly correspondent to affections in every sense, if I were you I’d attach myself tightly to whatever principle Mother is most disposed. Then nod a succession of ‘Yes’s’ in the build up to your the wedding.  You will then be best placed to observe the succeeding interest of Mother and son-in-law being continually agited by one another. And especially by you.

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