Proper Facebook Etiquette

#897 From vulgar rebuke to Ms Cole chav status

Sunday 21st November, 2010

Madam: I read with regular vigor your little blog, could you please advise. I travel twice yearly between the UK and Hong Kong and I am always impressed by the attentions of women that I encounter.  In doing so, I make a point of checking their profile and would go even further to add them as friends when I return home.  Should I feel ashamed making my pages look so friend rich, where others do not venture?

(From Giles via a letter. And a friend request (Giles, I am honored): Although, please do not call me ‘madam’)

From the off, I have to disagree with you Giles. Work also takes me around the world and adding friends to Facebook is as inevitable now as adding time to your check in via the security gates and this is something to be celebrate, not potentially curtailed. Although, now that I read closer and deeper into your headed and hand-written offering, I see that there are other concerns to address: I see from your Facebook pages that you appear to have a particular preference for the tall, slight of frame, non-pierced or tattooed type – in short, PDGL (pretty damn good looking).  What you’re really concerned to make mention then is your arrangement of only attractive friends to the comparative ‘ugliness’ of others. I can make this assumption as 1.I’ve taken a measured look at your Facebook pages and friends and friends of friends (and you are all ridiculously good looking) and your longer letter takes time to bask in the bountifulness of none-of-those-appalling-toothed people.

So if your ‘concern’ was a deliberate artifice to receive attention and affirmation of your good looking status, well done you’ve succeeded.  IF it was a real concern that you have only one type of friendship formation, well I’m torn between shaming you into widening the net, and then reminding myself that such actions is what openly clarifies most, if not all, of ‘those kind of people’.  Then again, I should be careful, as I fall into the category of ‘those kinds of people’, and there you’ve just broken the mold by adding me to your network. Lest you choose to defriend and re-appropriate a connection to the likes of ‘my type’ elsewhere.

One critical question is this, you don’t flesh out the process of your critical ‘preview’ of new friends pages, like all glitzy packaging, perhaps the visual system may be better than us ‘normal’ folk, but lousy under the wrapper.  Then again you did not write to me for a detailed summary of your next friendship plot; you don’t need to read these words to understand perfectly that you won’t be changing your ways.  Just as an aside, have you friended Ms Cole yet, or is she rank and file under ‘too chavvy’? I leave you with acknowledgment of a preemptive strike against your next request.

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