Proper Facebook Etiquette

#906 simply not the best

Wednesday 22nd December, 2010

Dear Mariann
I made a best friend in Facebook but this has upset my other friends. We are all from China at college in England and in our culture it is bad to be treated differently in a small group. I have said that it was a simple mistake but some friends say that everyone can see that they are not the best. What should I do?
From AyLam in rely to post #303 had a chat with some oiks


Quite agree, it IS bad to treat anyone badly in whatever sized group. Unless you’re a group of MP’s then it is ‘the law’ to treat others not as you would be done by (the Daily Mail it seems), but rather as if you already ‘owned’ the world and quite frankly could not give a damn.  Sorry, I seem to have digested too much of those low brow sheets before high tea ceremony this morning. This shall be rectified shortly.

AyLam, could you ‘un-best’-friend your new best friend?  I can recall from school days, especially amongst girls only groups that you had a suitably hierarchy that went thus, best, best friend; best friend; friends; other friends; boys. Away from home and immersed in a different culture I can absolutely appreciate that the etiquette from home become exaggerated and less discreet. Let us review the situation. You have a new friend (regardless of whether they are ‘best’ or not), they are jealous. This has caused a ruption in the group. Short term solution. Defriend your new best friend. This is wholly unrealistic and personally I am not one for being told what to do. If I’m told to amend my actions, then that makes me want to stick my feet harder in the sand and refuse to move, regardless of whether I am sinking or not.
Girls, you are at college. There are going to be occasions for making and falling out with friends, best friends and best, best friends for many years to come yet. There is good reason why you are friends with this person. Perhaps you could introduce them to the rest of the group. Then they appear less intimidating and might even (with time) welcome them into the group.

Otherwise stockpile a whole load of new friends by friending as many people as you can through Facebook. Competitive, self-indulgent and only slightly sneaky. Just do not forget to send them all a Christmas card.

One Response to “#906 simply not the best”

  1. Anon says:

    Washed up in this place and have tried to find my friends on facebook but no one is there. My friend Elliott said I should not put a photo on my profile page. I want to phone home and thought instead I could facebook home – so far no luck.

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