Proper Facebook Etiquette

#911 “beginning of the end”!

Monday 10th January, 2011

Dear Mariann,
Is it true that Facebook is shutting down on March 2011? I have read the CNN story that the said Goldman Sachs had predicted the “beginning of the end” for Facebook. How do I move my networks and where too?
From Worried in reply to post #310 on top of each other (well you wouldn’t want to be would you).

There are some things that the internet cannot do. One thing is to replace the Goldman Sachs of the world with a considered and coherent world view. Some attempts have been made – wikileaks – but actual consequences of a good dousing of Knowledge with a capital ‘k’ get lost in the vast sea of noisy waste and blah, blah, blah. That is why you read this blog is it not? Some say Pump and Dump, others keep Zuckerberg as a market fail-safe in a vast sea of crazy network activity.  All I hear is KERCHING! £$£$£$£$£$.

Let’s answer your question in a round about manner. We’re all here to perpetuate by some extraordinary network claims that we are functioning and sensible human beings with a happening social life and all the satisfaction that it brings. Remember MySpace? Well no thought not. This is because whilst pertaining to be ‘sensible’ and considered in all things friendship, so too are we aboard the fickle boat and what sails today doesn’t cut it in the stormy water of social media tomorrow. Have I mixed metaphors? Well let’s not drown ourselves.

In an more extraordinary reply to an ordinary question – what else did you expect when you posted your comment – whether or not Facebook continues is a reminder that it is They not You who own your information.  Yes, PoshBecks even your Facebook page can become irrelevant in a blink of an eye (if it isn’t already) if Zuckerberg and friends decide to down tools and take away your network credentials.  Tough. Cookie. Kid.

WHAT on earth to do? Clearly, nothing. The alternative is that the society won’t continue as it already has for the past mediated decades, as an self-indulgent friend conduit for narrow-friend feed finding.

What those fellows who predict the beginning of the end, I say this, in your dreams. For the most part, folk whose social networking days, like their hair and excitingly fulfilled lustful lives, are now behind them are jealous of others Facebook occurrences. Here there are occasional dashes of eccentric notoriety: as a crutch for extinct school yard friendships; a jaunty jestful ‘hello’ to work colleauges – in order to avoid actually being face-to-face to them of course, and those other people you might deem to admit are ‘family’.

De/unfriend whilst you can.  Or suffer the various slings of friend-tortured acquaintances with their heads bent into some long past foul smelling wind. As if sending a new Friend Request is to emerge from hitherto nameless and forgotten associations, when you are now best, best buds.  Do don’t down Facebook tools yet. The fat lady hasn’t sung. Planning is everything. Only the friendly will survive.

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