Proper Facebook Etiquette

#921 unknown Friend Request

Tuesday 25th January, 2011

Dear Mariann,
I would like to take this opportunity to share my experience of random friend request from unknown sources. My husband and I joined Facebook about a year ago. We have enjoyed the likes of MySpace and Twitter and both like Facebook – they’re an entertaining way to give a kick to an evening. Together we like to view other people’s Profile Pages. Last Saturday night, there wasn’t enough going on to make it worthwhile leaving the house. So my husband suggested that we log-in to Facebook instead. This was OK until we logged into my account. At first there were only a few messages from friends to reply to, but then I started getting a lot of attention from a mutual friend of ours. My only irritation was that my Profile was constantly being harassed by advances to ‘buy his wares’ and various other tacky and inferior activities. Anyway, we had been enjoying drinks together – my husband and I – so we continued on and tried to ignore what had been written on my Wall. Later I logged on, and stupidly thanked him for his messages, but made it clear that I wasn’t interested in making any purchase from him.

He keeps on making advances towards me. Everytime my husband logs in there’s new message or Wall post. This just makes me feel very uncomfortable. I’ve tried ignoring him. But he keeps slipping me private messages and suggested that I join his band of followers on Facebook. How can I get him to go away?

From Vivienne via email. And no strange Friend Requests.

A classic case of GAA (Go Away Advances). Remind Mr Pokey that you do not like solicitations from desperate megalomaniacs, and that your husband has taken to monitoring your every move, with a view to practice his new favourite sport of target practice.  I had my very own stalker once. He labeled himself as a ‘genuine professional entertainer’ who delighted in a barrage of messages at the rate of at least twenty per hour.  Every hour.  I cannot comment on the veracity of his correspondence, rather my main complaint was against the quality of his written word. There is something very off-putting about someone who composes ‘I no I like U :)’

No, indeed. No! no! no!

Needless to say he was given a VERY wide berth.  The defriend to unfriend methodology didn’t work in my instance – and I suspect this tactic may also be limited in yours – but give him just enough cold water to cool his temperature down and you shouldn’t be at risk from too much unwelcome incoming attention.

At the heart of this lies a very simple dilemma if you consider it thus: Your husband has reached the point where he will no longer tolerate you being subject to the trussings of a cheap chap or to indulge he sweaty desires of others (no doubt) paunchy fantasies.  So there are two issues you can resolve here at once.  One will bring about the return of your husbands territorial passions. Hello. The other should reveal what a sheltered life this unwarranted Romeo has led.  Remove all pictures of yourself, and replace these with one’s with a paper bag over your head.  You could even write ‘I no I don’t like U’ across it’. It’s always a shame when someone decides to impose themselves upon you.

It could be a compliment. He is Facebook fondling obviously. Yuk.

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