Proper Facebook Etiquette

#926 crushed on sister-in-law

Saturday 5th February, 2011

Dear Mariann,

Heinous error! In common with most men, when I’m not in the pub, I am on Facebook. A long time lover of spontaneity, I sent my wife a quick message telling her about all the erotic lingerie I was looking forward to. She likes to indulge my passions. Because I was on Facebook after the pub, I might have sent the message to her sister. Funnily enough I’ve always had a crush on her sister, so what’s the best way this situation could pan out?

From A.Chap in anticipation, via email.

Ah. Or rather, ah-ha. You’re on the cusp of something here; either incredible good fortune if your sister-in law finds humour in your advances. Hate to spoil the ‘fantasy’ but it is highly unlikely that she is going to message you back without either a mocking tone, or ‘what the hell?!” repose. Although I am a fan of the forever optimist, so let’s pretend that she amuses over your ‘advances’ and your wife remains as your wife.

The psychoanalysis in me wants to make mention of some deep seeded hitherto hidden desire for the romantic advances of your wife’s sister that is trapped in some latent childhood trauma involving a sandpit and a jewelry box.  But my view doesn’t matter here. Neither does yours.

Suggest you do not do a quick unfriend of sister-in-law as this will only add to suspicions.

Best case scenario, you and your suits remain in tack. Worse, something that might impede your sitting down and future ability to enjoy erotic lingerie ever again.

What a sheltered life I lead, time was you propositioned the wife/husband face-to-face. You will probably find that you require a fairly substantial sum to get you out of this hole. Send both wife and sister-in-law a humorous message saying that you are not really expecting them to buy their own erotic smalls, thereby letting them know that you are open to this kind of thing, but you’re not a tight wad. Win, win all around surely?…

One Response to “#926 crushed on sister-in-law”

  1. Reese says:

    I live in a restored old cottage in a small town outside Georgia. My wife and do not use any Internet, but worry that we might be isating our chidren. And after reading your blog at my sisters consider that we might be missing out. Do you have ny advice for a complete novice and his family?…

    Thank you from the USA

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