Proper Facebook Etiquette

#934 elite service

Monday 7th March, 2011

Dear Sir – I the well respected leader of a country near the Mediterranean. My people have loved me for many years. I always post picture when I’m visiting one of my palaces in Europe or Hawaii (gets a little chilly in the winter). Recently it has been rumoured that a few ungrateful people have been a little critical of me. Can’t understand this as my family has for a long time taken care of such irritations as elections and a media that only upsets people by printing stories about bad things. Anyhow I have even had a few unkind things posted to my wall. My elite security service has not been successful in tracking down these fools – but they must be foreign agitators. Should I just shut Facebook down or is it better to change my status to ‘don’t even think of messing with your leader’?

From The Colonel in reply to post #331 Gender mash-up.

Psychologists now believe that delusional-leader-association (DLA) is a displacement activity to mask low intellect, a small sperm count and tinier other proportions. I’m not saying that your people’s are right to post ‘unkind’ items to your Wall, but I suggest that you might find better ways to air these concerns next time around. Mistake number one, allowing access to your Wall. What kind of show are you running? Surely ‘elite forces’ suggest some kind of force (field) and thus competent provision of protection in terms of private  information. Mistake number two, caring what your people’s have to say, when you could be swimming in the azure waters of Hawaii and leaving them well alone.

In some countries, it is considered the height of bad etiquette turn your back on those who have allowed you to rise to power.  In Britain, we don’t care, as long as the same such person does not make any friendships with anyone that might/might not have a conviction for associating with minors.  Above all, you should either delete your account immediately, or post some salacious story about a ‘colleague’ who can then take the full brunt of negativity away from you.

Perhaps I could suggest a Princely visitor to your shores? He comes with his entourage of deviant connections and low brow intellect. Should make you look quite the ‘super hero’…

One Response to “#934 elite service”

  1. Spot says:

    I have an issue I would like to share. I have quite bad acne which comes out worse on photographs. I’m in the last year of university and am trying hard not to care that some friends tag photos with me in as ‘spot’. I know they don’t mean to be unkind but it makes me feel very bad about something that I can do little about. I try and avoid cameras which I know is stupid and only makes friends want to include me more. Should I just get over this or do something to stop the practice?

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