Proper Facebook Etiquette

#935 Spot of bother

Wednesday 9th March, 2011

Dear Mariann,
I have an issue I would like to share. I have quite bad acne which comes out worse on photographs. I’m in the last year of university and am trying hard not to care that some friends tag photos with me in as ‘spot’. I know they don’t mean to be unkind but it makes me feel very bad about something that I can do little about. I try and avoid cameras which I know is stupid and only makes friends want to include me more. Should I just get over this or do something to stop the practice?

From The Spot in reply to post #334 elite service.

Posts of ‘minging!’ went up on her Wall.

Her fingers stopped. Still. For a few seconds, and hovered over the keyboard.

It all seemed far too incidental to really matter.

But it did matter and to her it felt as if her friends showed little or no courtesy,  nor did they offer an empathetic relief. She looked like ScarFace, this didn’t give everyone else the right to pass comment.

The above is an extract from My So Called Life (in Etiquette). Because dear The Spot, we have all been where you are.

Tagging really shouldn’t be allowed. And certainly not without prior permissions. It is the height of rudeness to tag someone without prior consent, especially if that tagging involves malicious or negative commentary.

What on earth are your friends thinking? That you would applaud their attempts at photographic dialogue? Certainly not.

A poor show all around.

First things first, no need to make a drama out of this. Check your Facebook Privacy Settings (top right of the page, under Account tab). Go into photos and ‘edit’ privacy. Make sure that tagged photos of you are one’s that only you can see. This ensures that no-one in  your network will have access to tagged photos and you can keep a weathered eye on whom might be tagging you.

Then if they continue with their little image-tagging-slagging activities I suggest an unfriend. And then related friend cull.

Other things to keep in mind. A spot is not forever. Acne equally ebbs and flows in terms of when/where/how it flames up. Always in my case before a dalliance of some importance, be it tv, dating, or something else. There was one particularly horrific incident involving a holiday to Turkey, a facial and facialist who left scarring. Unbelievable. On Facebook this was reported with horrified amusement ‘I am now ScarFace’ ran my Status Update on my return.

Inside I was devasted.

Yes, get over it. But with aplomb, a little bit more empathetic engagement than your jokey friends and in the future the wonder that is photoshop *shhhhh* If it works for VB, well then dah-ling we can all be fabulous.

2 Responses to “#935 Spot of bother”

  1. MrH says:

    I started a we ‘Luv Henry’ group a couple of weeks ago. I still only have one member. Why?

  2. PKat says:

    Can I up date me status to I’m a kitty kat and I dance dance…?

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