Proper Facebook Etiquette

#942 What happened last night

Tuesday 29th March, 2011

Dear Mariann,

Bit of an ad for a app called Last Night Never Happened- The app will goes back – up to 48 hours and will clears out any photos, tweets, or Facebook posts you need to delete – optionally replacing them with a much nicer message.
From Last Night Never Happened, in reply to post #340 A case of mistaken identity.

I’m blown away. There goes the self – destruct on this blog. This app will be the ruination of me! Oh, wait no, people will still continue to do stupid things. There isn’t an app for that yet.

Which pauses me to reflect on some of the worst of in terms of ‘what I did last night’. Forget driving with your headlights off, ignore falling down disgracefully, put aside any high pitched karoke wailing. For the best of let’s pretend last night never happened; reflect on these flunks as moments of artistry. Of profound Facebook genius if you will – as movement, sound and witty dialogue. Applaud yourself for such Facebook brilliance when , as you awake the morning after, an evidence trail appears from Wall posts, to messages, photos and then the return poking begins.

A friend, who shall remain anonymous, so a FRIEND after securing a new job thought to kick back, send off a rather rude message to their current boss and then post a copy of this to their Facebook Profile – a moment of ‘wit’ at the time, quickly turned to madness. As their friend we continued to watch as pure Facebook brilliance over the course of 24hours unfolded.

First some obsessive masonary of editing to change their current status from ‘my old boss is a tw*t’ to something more polished, composed and less degrading all around. Next up a de-tag of some rather unflattering footage, of minority interest, where our friend (and boss) were featured in an compromisingly unsexy clinch.  Observed from a distance this was all rather amusing. In fact other friends tried to imitate some of the abusrbity – only to collapse into a heap of misappropriated mediocrity. In short, they tried too hard. The trick to gain a legion of fans in this manner is to throw all dignity out of the window, with that some pride and to spend as small amount of time as possible thinking of the consequences. Such as your new boss, might be rather good friends with your old boss. Or even married to your new boss.

That kind of behind the scenes stuff really matters.

Lessons have since been learnt, as the new boss learnt of the unfortunate incidents and commanded a very hard and swift slap across their visage to communicate quite succintly what any Last Night Never Happened app might miss. Namely being stupid. Stupid. And stupid. So, an app might help, but chances are if you’re already using it, it’s already too late.

2 Responses to “#942 What happened last night”

  1. No name says:

    I keep two profiles on Facebook. One is for the family and the other just for me. I think of one as the single me – that has fun when away from the family and the wife. I travel for work and so get to meet girls who like a older guy and we sometimes hook up – if they are a bit fit and game. Makes a nice change and they get to enjoy some time with me. My son’s friend was messing about on Facebook and they thought they would look for the family name (not that common). So they find single me and I get a friend request. Need an excuse to get out of this.

  2. Ian says:

    My partner wants me to change my status from single. We have an open relationship. In the gay world this is common. Is he trying to block me in and why is it OK for Hume to use gaydar

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