Proper Facebook Etiquette

#1952 undisputable attentions

Wednesday 13th April, 2011

Dear Mariann,

I suspect that I am a bit of an arse. As it is the Easter holiday’s I have made it clear to all of my mistresses – via Facebook – that I am to be going otherwise engaged until the schools go back. Is it impolite to take joy in the undisputable attentions of these women? Chums at work say I should try to play it straight and shouldn’t lead them on. I’d welcome your opinion.

From A.Grouch via email.

It is traditional in these circumstances for me to rebuff both yours and theirs stupidity. But you have stolen my thunder and already identify that you are a ‘bit of an arse’.

Oh, Facebook how things have changed. No need for wifey or mistresses to ever miss what you are up to. They can read and gaze at your tagged ‘responsibilities’ as you seek to share them. Status – ‘married’, tick. Photos with children, double tick. Should know better, tick, tick, tick! To be honest, a woman who can settle for being second best doesn’t deserve a Poke.

This is lust.

Are you prepared to admit that you are being a c***? Great, then carry on regardless. Post Easter hols you can take your office work buddies out and brag about all the women you can’t satisfy. I know this because I’ve met and had the au-fait fortune to date men like you. It’s good to add such incidence to my own personal hilarity. And this blog. And yet despite such consequential meetings and reflections I am still single. Go figure.

If it were true that you were really concerned about being an indiscreet arse, then shuuuuuut-up, carry on regardless and let these women loot you for all your intimate inadequacies.

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