Proper Facebook Etiquette

#1962 extreme testosterone driven lusts

Friday 13th May, 2011

Dear Mariann,
I have spent some time now admiring from afar a certain young lady.  Her profile page is ravishing on Facebook and there are plenty of pictures to admire.  My question is this, do I come forward with offerings of romance. Or do I save all my lust for my imaginations. I worry that her image may not live up to my expectations of courtship and a jolly good romp. What say you?

With love and kisses Hugo from the north via email.

I am tempted not to discourage you from your fervant errand of lust and courtship. However, there is one large concern that is looming near and moving with apace towards you Hugo. Have you not taken a moment to reflect that perhaps said young lady is not at all interested in you whatsoever.

Look, I have my moments to be a bit of a – whatever the female equivalent of ponce is – and to let my imaginations wonder on the delightful of those in my immediate social network.

Let me recount at my leisure those moments that feel as though you are walking through clouds, on air no less! When the sky appears constantly sunny, the corners flecked with high cirrus (I did Geography, I know my cloud line); miraculous landscapes surround and there’s swathes of fluttered petals falling from trees as a thick vapour and the perfect carpet trail. Your imaginations lean towards thinking of that certain someone. Imagine then if you went beyond their Facebook profile… In place of the perfect landscape is the constant whining beside you; the air now thick with missed hints, regrets and recriminations.

No, Hugo I would keep things nice and easy going and carry on with your romance at a distance as a jolly randy chancer. Better a softly coiled Romeo in the making than a hardened Casanova fed up with premature exclamations of the most extreme testosterone driven lusts.

Then again, plunge right and update yours and hers Relationship status to ‘married’ and see if Facebook can act as the romantic mediator.

5 Responses to “#1962 extreme testosterone driven lusts”

  1. Jenny says:

    I listened to you on Radio York and want to ask a question. Do you think I should OK my mangers friend request? I work in a mostly girl estate agents and my workmates have not had a request. I’m not into him (and he is married anyway) but he knows I don’t have a BF and I don’t know if his request is just a simple friend thing. What do you advise.

  2. York Mother says:

    Just heard you on the radio. Must ask should I stop my daughter from using Facebook during her exams? She is on it all evening when she says she is revising but I worried she is just playing with Facebook.

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  5. OMG says:

    Flirted with a fit looking women and have just realised she is my college prof. Lesson – don’t trust the photos!

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