Proper Facebook Etiquette

#1965 not charming. Alarming.

Friday 20th May, 2011

Dear Mariann,
We just met at the BBC thing and you said you’d post my dilemma after I charmed you. But will you? I wrote to a friend of a friend on Facebook because she said that she liked the look of me. It’s been at least three hours and no-one’s written back! As you saw from the state of me, I’ve already torn my hair out, and feel like flinging my iPad out of the window! Please post this and help me.
From Gez via email and in conversation.

What a tangled web we weave. Gez, I may not have been blunt enough in our introduction, so here goes. There is not tricky plot here, nor is there going to be a Shrek like happy resolution. By now it’s been at least 5 hours since your last communication and this is the official cut off point that identifies a love situation or a disappointment. Yours is the latter.

Equally, it was very nice for you to flirt with me and all that, but you are a rather hairy (despite the hair pulling), short little fat bloke without a sense of humour. This is why she hasn’t replied. This is why we’re not friends on Facebook. We’re not vain. Just not insane either.

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