Proper Facebook Etiquette

#1976 flummoxed. And a bit stupid

Saturday 4th June, 2011

Dear Mariann,

I’ve been with my girlfriend now for some time. After three years together she’s still ‘in a relationship’ with her ex on Facebook. I’m flummoxed. What should I do?

In conversation with Doubting Douglas on a long very warm train ride home London KingsX to York.

This is quite simple really, as there is only one line of enquiry, and to borrow from your precise words;  She’s still in a relationship with her ex. What I mean , and to put this more bluntly, your dilemma says as much about your flummoxed status as it  reveals the solution (it’s as plain as the Facebook wall in front of your face), she’s still in a relationship with your ex.

No, really, she is.

To be fair to your ‘girlfriend’ she has never tried to declare otherwise. In fact she’s been rather effective at being upfront and in you face about her ‘status’.

Clearly if this is only coming to a head now, you’ve been in what must be a rather tedious  relationship for some three years. So why  not surreptitiously update your own status to something more challenging?

Equally all this status updating is absolute tosh. Two people should know whether they are together or not. That is, by definition, the general defining parameters of all relationship situations. It shows a bad degree of relationship  engagement on your part that you are in a puzzle over this. Why not just think ‘fabulous, i’ve permission to behave as a horny toad’ and carry on.

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