Proper Facebook Etiquette

#1977 neighbour shame

Sunday 5th June, 2011

Dear Mariann,

My neighbours hold a soiree’ every Tuesday night. Every Wednesday my housemates and I laugh as they stumble out blindly into the light of day and fall about like the tramps they are. We’re all on Faecbook. They’re still on MySpace is this the new class divide?

From Mr Parvenu a mere three doors up from my own humble abode.

This is mate or grate for you and your friends isn’t it? Lo(!) to be excluded from your in crowd as you bray and bite on your neighbours. Shame on you. Shame on you for not sending Friend Requests. More shame on you for not going round, updating your Status to ‘soiree’ at neighbours: Chip n dip’. Shame on you for not irresponsibly tagging photo evidence to share with the rest of your network/s.

You come across as the embodied concentration of snobbish-linity, steeped in supposed upper class swagger, constantly roaring your dominance into the night.  Nice work. I feel already covered in sinew and socially related exhaustion. Yours is a grim jest. But quite right to look down on them if they’re still on MySpace. A new class divide. Nah. But new ways to mock from afar.

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