Proper Facebook Etiquette

#1981 Grrrrrrrr SPIT!

Friday 17th June, 2011

Dear Mariann,

Don’t you just hate it when facebook suggests some ugly X and you become ‘friends’!!!???

I want to spit!!!

We have 10 friends in common you know?! AND worse still his profile pic included the face of my very own brother …

Grrrrrrrr SPIT!

From Lady Blue who is not interested, one spot, in her ex.

Reply with the following.

I never loved you. It spooks my digestive system to see you. My brother thinks you’re underendowed.

If that does not have the required Retreat (!) effect, then he’s either  man of steel or needs to take a long reflexive look at how he ranks his ‘friends’.

Exes, when they get these kinds of ideas into their mind these usually involve a dawning that you are the one,  that they can’t live without you, and are especially vulnerable around seasons of change, any rumours of your change of status (has there been one/some?), happiness, or just a round of ‘being bored’ on Facebook. In short, the kind of communication that they were too gutless to ever say to your face and they like to flap around and do anyway.

There is much to ‘admire’ in his forwardness of including your brother in his Profile picture. This publication  says ‘one of you!’, ‘one of you!’ and you’ll have to put a squash on this as soon as possible.

If ex does not get the message that he is being a silly sausage; let it be known that you barely tolerated his presence when you were in a relationship, insinuating some references to his lack of ‘man power’, experience and so on and so forth. This should take the wind out of his sails (she’s so moved on from me…), stoke his paranoia and release you from anything to do with his needy ways.

OR, it could be that you have him completely wrong. He simply wants to be ‘friends’ as part of a healthy platonic and grown up set of communications…

Which begs the related question; why friend on Facebook then?

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