Proper Facebook Etiquette

#2015 Is she calling my bluff?… Help!

Sunday 27th November, 2011

Dear Mariann, 

I arrived and sat down for a weekly evening out involving food, drink and silly behaviour. My university tutor from Xxxxxx University was at the next table and talking loudly with a young man who was not her husband. When they got up to leave, she glanced in my direction and (I am certain) recognised me as she leaned over and kissed the man passionately on the lips – in front of everybody in the restaurant! I was not going to mention anything about her behaviour, until last night when she Friend Requested me on Facebook. Do I accept? Is this a challenge? Is she calling my bluff?… Help! 

From PostgraduateMush via a considerably longer and rather explicit email [not for this blog]


Mush, it is Sunday. I am meeting some very good friends of mine (and others) for high tea. After reading your email I will be sure to scant about the place before I launch myself at one of the party for a passionate embrace. Your dilemma has already then had an affect. Although the woman in your scenario cannot be I as 1. when last I looked at my left hand I am not married and 2. I like to think my dining out is suitably hidden that there is not the risk of a tutor/student indiscretion. Equally you will never get a Friend Request from I, how crass.

You have three courses of action; each of these increasingly amplify what could be a salacious situation. So let us begin: First you ignore the Friend Request and resort to a conventional student-to-tutor conduct, in case you forgot this means turning up late for tutorials, forgetting when/where your weekly lecture is and handing in your work late with a flood of alluring and equally fantastical excuses. Second, you could send your tutor a private message (without accepting her Friend Request) to ‘test the water’ and explain that you ‘do not use Facebook’ and that you ‘hope she had a nice night out the other night’. This establishes that you know that she knows, but she knows that you don’t really know. Third, you accept her Friend Request and have a good snoop around her Profile Page. Does she have fellow students as ‘friends’? what is her relationship status? can you see her holiday snaps?

…Is this all some fantastical fantasy on your behalf? Mush, I think perhaps it is. Savour the impossibility of this moment – of the very idea that Professor X w/could pursue students nearest to her, without batting an eyelid for a passionate embrace. If she really wanted to make you all flustered she’d simply fail all your essays and recommend one-on-one tutorials.

Don’t hold your breath.


3 Responses to “#2015 Is she calling my bluff?… Help!”

  1. Cleaner says:

    My U careers office has a list of companies that will ‘clean’ people’s online profiles before they do job applications. In the Daily Mail there is a story about how employers can demand your Facebook password as part of a job application. Should I pay the money for a clean out?

  2. Anonymous says:

    My problem is the same. I really fancy this hot bio lecture but I’m only a second year and his GF is a PhD student. But she if old and I know he looks at me. Should I offer to friend him? I’m doing his option nest term and so will make the best of my assets – my BFs always say my boobs are the best!!!!

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