Proper Facebook Etiquette

#2020 what are you saying?!!!

Sunday 29th January, 2012

Seven year itch. Dear reader’s for the past seven years I have replied and written to you, as much as you have written to me. It is now time to turn the tables. Below are two dilemmas that I received in the time of a matter of days from two entirely separate (separating) parties.  They give two perspectives of the same situation. One dilemma (I can reveal this much) from His point of view; the other from Hers.

The challenge for you is to read the aforementioned ‘woes’ (now you know what is typical of my in-tray) and to compose a suitable reply to either one or other, or to both. This is not a case of identifying the whom is wrong, or perhaps right; but to provide a succinct and articulate repose in the manner to which each party might deserve. As a juicy reward, the winning post/s will be published on this site and, should their authors want, reporters from the Daily Mail may well be calling you for a quick ‘expose’ hit on the latest state of play with Facebook*.

From Him:

I was recently introduced to an attractive woman. She seems the up for it type and when I met her was ‘single’ on her Facebook page. I’m not being sexist but a guy can expect his girlfriend to be around him and do things for him like – a bit of car cleaning would be nice.  Is this too much to ask? My take is that she has delusions of grandeur, and self-promoted ‘celebrity’. I don’t really know where she is coming from and I have removed my relationship status from Facebook. Is this right?

From Her:

I have delusions of grandeur and think my boyfriend is holding me back. I happened to see that the boyfriend has recently removed his relationship status from Facebook. I suspect this is a half-arsed attempt to split up with me without having to have ‘that conversation’. I’d rather not let him wimp out of such discussions. However, could it also be the case that unfriend will delete a drooping and unresponsive limber from my timeline?

Answers in the comments please. The winning reply will be published Sunday 5th February and contribute to various Facebook discussions at several forthcoming events…

* Please note that any journalistic perks are not guaranteed and that when you enter this ‘competition’ you are agreeing to your words being published on this site for all sundry to comment on. No personal details will be given out.

19 Responses to “#2020 what are you saying?!!!”

  1. Cathy says:

    They both need the True Way of His Light. I will ask my pastor for advice

  2. Pen says:

    He spends tooooo much time working on his sleep
    She need a bit of gym time

  3. Anonymous says:

    Should i buy Facebook shares?

  4. 1793 lit n phil says:

    I was desperate to maintain my relationship with my ex. She was ‘complicated’ and I am very aware that I let her down and let her go. For truly great advice I would say to both that they should make a great effort to ensure that there are no hard feelings and both are protected from any Timeline incidents.

  5. Mecnken says:

    Dear Her,

    I note what you say about your aspiration for grandiose ‘fame’ . I am sending you this as a comment to represent a double-barreled reply, so that you can hit him square with it between the eyes.

    My advice is that I suggest you load and fire up a token communication of whatever comes into your head. You will thank me.

  6. By allowing for the availability of a formal Judicial review, may I speculate as to either one or other of this party’s appeal for anonymity. The fact that both are prepared to cut their loses and go the other way reveals that they had about as much passion as limp, damp cucumber.

  7. drmaz says:

    @Mars, yep I see those ‘spam’ comments – they have *gone* Good to know I am ‘popular’ with those SPAM bots in China though…

  8. M. says:

    God this is like a problem question at law school where you are given the facts and then told to ‘advise’ so and so.

    She may have ‘delusions of grandeur,’ but she admits it – a sign of honesty even if she is conflicted. Thatcherism notwithstanding, it is no problem for a woman to aspire, and if that is what she means by the term grandeur, then good for her. However if she wants to break up with him the adult thing to do is to precipitate ‘the conversation’ rather than going quiet or defriending. Only if she is 14 years old can she get away with this cleanly.

    He sounds unimaginative, complacent, and downright sexist.

    Judgment in favour of her.

  9. Mars says:

    Dr H why don’t you delete that long spam in the comments?

  10. Janet says:

    He – get a life looser or no it is not 1940 or grow up. I’ve know men like this and what they had is over mothering and no siblings – so expect girlfriends to treat them as mother’s little daring. Join MySpace

    She – right on sister. But you should know better than tie up with mother’s little daring. Unfriend and move on up next time for a more intelligent (hotter?) and better off model.

  11. Anonymous says:

    Man is a fool with no respect for women.

  12. Anonymous says:

    Whats with the spam on here?
    Needs moderating

  13. Rev Harwood says:

    We will discuss this at our next church meeting. We think it is good to use Facebook and computers but have a rule that allows this for pleasure for only one hour a day. We think we have voices to communicate.

  14. Mrs Smith says:

    After working as a divorce lawyer I know stereotypes get in the way of such facile relationships. Guy sounds like the toned beefcake type who thinks everyone hangs off his pecks. He shows lack of communication and compassion for his partner. She is not gym bunny and should be treated with respect – grow some emotional balls and grow up if you want a relationship with a real woman.

  15. Big Bloke says:

    HE Dump her arse. She not fit enough for you as not doing what your woman should.

    SHE Lesbian

  16. Anthony D. says:

    There should be a limit on how many exes you can have in your timeline. Collectively over the five years I’ve been on Facebook I’ve six exes and one ex wife. He could see things from her perspective. It isn’t nice being dumped on Facebook. But it’s OK if you do the dumping I say!

    she should come around mind.

  17. Mr Hester says:

    Today is not your day. You have been dumped. Get over it.

  18. The limit says:

    I say, he sounds frustrated! Dear Sir, you are a control freak. Back off.

    Her. She sounds like a right nutter. Dear ma’am, get shown round the Big Brother house and get out.

    That’s my two-cents.


  19. Amos says:

    She sounds like a bitch to me.

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