Proper Facebook Etiquette

#2029 The second Go-Round

Monday 11th June, 2012

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Dear M.

I am friends with Colin. He is unable to separate his Facebook wife from his real wife. Are there any special qualities that you advise?…

From Jeff Beck sitting intensely somewhere.

I hope it is not piles Jeff, given the nature of your intensity of ‘sitting’.

I am reminded of a similar situation that also occurred to a ‘friend’ of mine; in this scenario (Samantha let us call her) Samantha had one boyfriend she was officially ‘in a relationship’ with on Facebook and another on the stocks who (her words) was a ‘digital imbecile’ and her ‘real world’ beau. Neither ever met. Although both kept Samantha equally fulfilled shall we say.  So the special qualities that I could advise come rather after the event of your Colin’s dual wedding status. Is this a sign of our times that one has a digital decoy to delay another ‘real’ (and residual?) relationship?…

Has Facebook made it OK for a second Go-Round?

Sorry, you asked me the question. I’m a little rusty on getting back on the writing pony – please do bear with me and brace yourself for bluntness.

The updates of any friends relationship issues are always greatly exaggerated. Does Colin go home to a HOT(!) woman every night of the week and surf with a FIT(!) bird all day at work, I say no. He is best tagged as ‘The incredible, unpredictable and slightly liberal with the truth haughty husband’. Colin’s actions are a sign of our times. Too busy to actually meet up and make one relationship work, instead he chooses two (nay, even more!) to live out his most personal (and sexual) encounters.

There is something about timing here Jeff. And a level of engagement that leads to an often hitherto hyperbolised motion of events part of (sociologist hat on here) ‘information revolution’ and the advent of life that is with, if not married to the ‘information age’ (here Go(!) read some Manuel Castells <- yep obligatory Wikipedia link right t/here). Jeff, we’re facing a whole generation here that the Media (BIG ‘m’) would have us believe can only be defined as the ‘Facebook Generation’.  I think my ‘Generation C’ is better – but you catch me with my academic hat on again here *tips vintage trilby*

Ok so what are you really asking me? What are the ‘special qualities’ of a man like Colin, that makes a ‘man’ like Colin? There are none. Your friend is simply a jerk. OR What are the qualities of Colin’s actions that should be ‘special’ in order to ensure that he can carry on with his carry on?… Here there are several. Ensure that Colin keeps the digital integration of oral, print and visual modalities into one social network. He might also want to work on more than one Facebook ‘id’ – but you did not hear this from me as this is both *frowned* on by Facebook and outside of their Terms and Conditions. In short, Colin might get sued for enjoying his poking. Clearly Facebook is woven into the fabric of our lives, Colin lives on the edge of such material and his actions are telling in that it provides a hither-to overlooked mode of behaviour that has become a significant form of encounter in our everyday lives.

Jeff if you are writing to me, then you’re thinking that you want part of the action – even if these are under the conditions of a new ‘social complexity’. With such skulduggery I am amazed either of you can lay claim to satisfy one wife, let alone two.

I can only encourage the software developers at Facebook to produce the wares to provide users with the ability to brand individuals and ‘talk back’. Perhaps the gentle Poke can become a more purposeful PROD.

2 Responses to “#2029 The second Go-Round”

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