Proper Facebook Etiquette

#2031 Yippee ki-yay mother-truckers

Wednesday 27th June, 2012

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Dear Dr Hardey,

In a fight with my cousin I threatened to blow up Facebook.  It’s nothing major, but I worry that the authorities will be coming for me now. Should I hand myself in?

From R.Hood via new submit form.

Ah, yes Mister Hood, yours is a very modern-day-dilemma.  Have you heard about this nice young chap,Paul Chambers, an unemployed former trainee accountant, who is (today) appealing against his conviction for tweeting that he would ‘blow up’ Doncaster’s Robin Hood airport.  You know, as you do. And You do! Now then, it is reported that he claimed it was ‘a joke’; and whilst the thin line of the law does not have a sense of humour, it does have a Twitter account it appears, so Chambers was booked. Bang to rights.

Way back when in bf (beforeFacebook) other popular forms of pretend and play threat included burying stuff in sandpits and encouraging the cat to pee on it, re-labeling the sugar pot as salt, or pulling off Sindy or Barbie’s head (my favourite form of veiled mischief).  These could be enjoyed on a small scale, until the grown-ups found out and things become a bit more public and  a lot less playtime. Where you have slipped up is with a public posting – and on the actual site you’re threatening to cause harm to no less. I’m going to assume that you are smart enough to have already deleted this particular item from yours and others pages. This is Step One.  Step Two is also crucial and requires that you to take your apology to your cousin – in-person and then you can carefully extricate yourself from this situation without disturbing Facebook’s lawyers.

Or any other lawyers who are hunting SNSs for new business and spot you as an opportune guppy in shark-infested.

> news just in, just as there are ambulance chasers in the States for potential clients; YES, there are also Facebook Profile chasers who look for content – just like yours – and if you had not come and messaged me here, might have ‘hit you up’ with a law suit. Rather than an ozwald boateng suit.

So gather yourself, remove all external evidence that reveals you to be an occasional off-the-cuff-hot-headed jerk and draw a line underneath your activities without disturbing yours or others Newsfeeds.

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